I'm not sure what this is about, whether it be just drugs or a drug related suicide attempt. The second line implies it is just drugs, while the last line implies the suicide attempt. I like how you added the exclamation mark at the end of the last line, but the comma there isn't needed. Overall, I'd say this poem could probably use a little work in the wording to make it clearer. But it's pretty good.
December 15th, 2011 at 10:58am