Rip my heart into a crevice. - Comments

My... GOD, You know? I usually just go on here to practice my critiquing/get critiqued(which most mibbans are horrible at). But goodness is this a pleasure to read!

Sorry about my wonderment, haven't seen talent in awhile.

But what I like about this is that it's acutally more being slightly remote to an organized poem form. You create a wonderful image in each phrase. And that's great. You use many of the senses that nerves give us in walking around the world. And unlike people who just write a poem on being very descriptive and extravagant or people who just write on their emotion(there are TONS of them here) like (wahh wahh wahh, boyfriend broke up with me.. eff muh lyfe--well I'm being harsh, everyone needs somewhere to start)
Unlike those two you have a great slurr of the two, because underneath your senses you give a "heart" "or a soul" "vexing" in the communication that you describe between the audience and the speaker.

anyway...

Bravoo!!

This is really good! It flows nicely, and is very poetic.
Your writing is very unique, and it works!
Good job.