Safety First - Comments

  • Ariveria

    Ariveria (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    29
    Location:
    United States
    This is... wow. Really... I don't even know. But I love it. Like MetalMelissa said, it's reminiscent of madness, in the way that it jumps a little, makes quick, hard-to-follow connections if they're there, and reads like rambling. It's a really fascinating read, and it certainly holds the attention of the reader. I love your use of parentheses, caps, and repeating phrases, especially in the fourth paragraph. It adds to the slightly jumpy, yet focused in a strange way, feel to whole thing.

    Excellent work!
    January 14th, 2012 at 03:21am
  • timaeus

    timaeus (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    25
    Location:
    United States
    v. Thanks.
    Haha, it was originally a journal.
    January 14th, 2012 at 01:22am
  • MetalMelissa

    MetalMelissa (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    This reminds me of madness. I like it; good job.
    January 14th, 2012 at 01:18am