Longing - Comments

it was mostly word play with the idea of "ony my mind as i eat" which would suggest that the subject is on my mind during most other trivial activities. however, "as i eat" would have disrupted the flow of the poem and the rhyme scheme. however, looking back, it kinda messes with the next line of Unwed Wife. i'll look into it, thanks for the feedback

Though it's brief, the rhyme scheme was well developed. Some of the lines confused me a bit, such as the
"as i dine
unwed wife"

It lost me a bit, I realize it's a poem on someone one hasn't yet met, but the dining I think threw me off the most. Care to explain on how it fits? Or was it just placed to hold the rhyme together?

aw, I love this one

It's nice and short but very good. I suck at poetry honestly lol.