The Beating Drum - Comments

Wow...this is actually quite good. o.o I really need to broaden my vocabulary. You're good with words. You really are. Nice job.

Awwwwwwwwh 8D

Thank you! I wanted the last two lines to sound a bit different so that they would go along with the new beginning. Does it sound more awkward than shifty, because I was considering changing things around after I let the poem sit for a few days?

Aside from the last two lines, this kept the rhythm well, without the awkward vocabulary that often encompasses rhyming lines, so well done. I like that you used the last couple words of the second stanza as the first couple words of the third, too. =)