Ah! These are awesome!
"If life is a but dream
Then why do I feel so real?"
That line is probably my favorite. The only thing I can really suggest is a bit more punctuation at the end, it totally changes how things are read.
And maybe not so much rhyming? I used to rhyme a /lot/ but when I stopped, I got so much better. Not that this is bad. Maybe rhyming is your thing, I dunno. -shrugs-
Anyway, if you ever record this, I want to hear it, definitely.
"If life is a but dream
Then why do I feel so real?"
That line is probably my favorite. The only thing I can really suggest is a bit more punctuation at the end, it totally changes how things are read.
And maybe not so much rhyming? I used to rhyme a /lot/ but when I stopped, I got so much better. Not that this is bad. Maybe rhyming is your thing, I dunno. -shrugs-
Anyway, if you ever record this, I want to hear it, definitely.