Wasted Breaths - Comments

The very short form of the poem, the short stanzas, short lines, everything, works well. I like the series of all these different images; along with the form of the poem, it's just like images flashing through the mind one after the other.

At some points it's hard to see how the individual lines connect to their surroundings, like "burnt ships" and "who tried?" They both just kind of make me go, "Wait, how does that fit into the stanza?"

I really liked the ending, though. It's just such a perfect note to leave off on. Overall, I think the whole poem works quite well.

v I read it that way, too. It flows excellently, and it's long enough to get the point across. This left me in one of those moods, but it was a better version of those moods, if you get what I mean. The theme is one I find a lot in the poems on here, but I like what you did with it. It's vague enough for me to be a bit confused, but it's specific enough for me to know what was going through your mind and what you were feeling while writing this. Bravo!

I couldn't help to read this poem with "Dun...dun. Dun...dun." as a rhythm. I like this poem. It's catchy and easy to grasp. :)

I like the nice flow to this poem. It had simplistic beauty.

Good poem I like it A lot :)