Mendacious. - Comments

too true

@ party poison.
I'm assuming you know her personally? She seems awesome!
(I think we should really stop having this converstaion on her poem! XD)

@ Hockey58Princess31
She's a good person.
Hard to tell sometimes, but it's true.
c:

@ party poison.
Haha! xD. That's awesome! Well she's a very talented writer, I was in awe of that poem. I feel good that I could make her happy. Her comment on my wall was sweet! ;P

@ Hockey58Princess31
Yup. It's true.
Not like she'll admit it to anyone else, but she said so.
Even I can't do that. xD

@ party poison.
:O that makes me feel awefully happy that I managed to do that!

@ Hockey58Princess31
Did you know, that your comment below made her entire day?
She told me so.
Good job, man. :D

Thank you so much for entering my contest!

To start off with this poem, I just want to say wow, it was incredible. There was so much power and punch and emotion that was put into this poem. I liked the play on that voice inside her head being personified. In giving her a name, it created this whole different dimension and this eerie feel to the poem and it made me want to keep on reading. I liked the whole man vs. himself conflict that was on going through the poem. I thought that it added tension and it added a lot of punch and made me want to keep reading. The constant questioning gave insight into her psyche and that just made the poem soar beyond any expectations I could have had about the poem.

Having the worse off to the side was the perfect thing for this poem. Those words creating “It’s all me, Her existence is a lie,” made the poem come to life. It was the insight to the poem that the reader had but not the actual speaker of the poem. You captured this amazing essence of pure and raw genius in this poem. The talent that you exuded from it is impeccable. You took poetry to such a raw state and I think that’s amazing. That technique is wonderful and you didn’t miss use it, you put in there perfectly, I also liked how it didn’t go throughout the entire poem. I found it clever that you stopped using it after a certain point. It was just incredible.

I thought jamming words together was also clever, and made me read those words a little more quickly and I thought it added something different and cool to the poem. Maybe had you used it just one time less, it would have had more of a punchy and unique effect to the poem. I felt that maybe it was slightly overused, but then at the same time in the context of the poem it worked. I guess this is something that comes down to preference. I do think that it added a different dimension to the poem, it added another layer and made the meaning that much more wonderful. I also think that it’s a good technique to get voice across to the reader and it displayed her inner struggles and jumbled and fast racing thoughts. So I think this technique was great, but I guess I am little on the fence about how often you used it.
This reminded me of something I would find in an Ellen Hopkins novel, and I adore her writing style. Your poem was that good.

I think that your use of line break throughout the poem was wonderful, especially at the start. You really created tension and that build up that line breaks should cause in a poem. You used the line breaks to work with the speaker’s personality and also to create such a deeper meaning to the poem. The poem was obvious in such an abstract way that I couldn’t help but be captivated by it. You word choice was excellent, your diction was perfect, you captured this voice and made each character, though they were the same person, so unique in their ability to portray everything you wanted them to.
Outstanding, beautiful, emotional poem!

Holy fuck Shaye, it's amazing.
I can't write poetry.
Lolol. I've tried.

i love this...it is really good...the way it is written reminds me of Ellen Hopkins' style