Hmmmm. Maybe another example with more imagery Added? Added to my revision list. Thanks!
December 8th, 2012 at 02:11am
I like it. It is simple and effective. The title is what drew my attention, the first line rapt me from the start. Great job, Maybe a little more description? A little more imagery?
The last sentence seems like it is the start of another stanza. Maybe that is just me, but overall, I liked it.
Good job.
Ry