January 3rd, 2014 at 04:37pm
Over-all, the poem is pretty strong. The first two lines were the strongest parts. I was brought in by them, but as I read, it kind of lost my captivation. I think it is because you said "we" quite a lot. It felt a bit repetitive. The very last line was hard to follow. I wasn't sure if it was a punctuation problem or my own comprehension. Are you telling the director that you must be the lead and for that director to hear your prayer? Those are two separate sentences, even in poetry, so commas don't work by themselves.
I love the meaning behind the poem. You put a lot of depth and thought into writing it, and it shows. Especially the comparison to an actor's ability to redo a scene and how he is unable to do so in real life, however, if it is a performance, the actor cannot go back. Everyone will remember when he messes up. I take a different outlook on acting, I guess. Instead of a difference, I find the similarities, for there are quite a lot. Either way, nice work. I enjoyed reading a perspective different than my own.
with happiness!!! 
I like the sentiment behind this poem and all of the imagery behind it. The idea of (or at least what I'm getting from it) The Director and all of these comparisons to God are really interesting. I'm not a massive person of faith, but I like when people interweave clever things like that throughout writing. I especially love the idea of life being this giant film but when we mess up, we can't just delete the tape, go back and start again. Everything is permanent, nothing can just be changed at the drop of a hat.
I think this is definitely an interesting concept. Good job!