I love this idea and there are so many lines that were very intriguing to me. However, there's definitely something missing. The piece seems distant, there's just no strong emotion to pull the readers in. I understand that it's written from the point of view of an inanimate object, but personify it a little. It's with this girl probably everyday so it could have the feelings of a close friend or something like that. Play with it a little bit and see what you can come up with. ~Keep writing!!!
~Keep writing!!!