Wow, great poem! The only thing to fix is how you switch from present to past tense a few times. You start by saying it 'was'- past tense-, then said that 'comes'-present tense-, then 'lingered' -past-, and then 'vanish' - present, then 'chose' -past-. Easy fix to an excellent poem. :)
July 24th, 2013 at 07:35am