I guess there was a lot of emotions here that I understood but these emotions weren't portrayed well or written properly. I was given a lot of emotions that were all compiled messily.
It was emotional, true. But it was confusing to read since there were a lot to focus on. At one point, he was hopeful and it suddenly switched into him being hopeless. The transition wasn't clean and it was harder to read that I had to repeat it again.
Although, the words and descriptions you've chose were a handful, they were actually good. You just have to know how to rearrange your phrases and sentences properly in order to send a better message to your readers.
It was emotional, true. But it was confusing to read since there were a lot to focus on. At one point, he was hopeful and it suddenly switched into him being hopeless. The transition wasn't clean and it was harder to read that I had to repeat it again.
Although, the words and descriptions you've chose were a handful, they were actually good. You just have to know how to rearrange your phrases and sentences properly in order to send a better message to your readers.