October 28th, 2013 at 11:24am
The Demon Within - Comments
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You're welcome! :)October 28th, 2013 at 01:08am
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@ Pumyra's Pet Hina
Thanks chick!October 28th, 2013 at 01:02am -
Mandy, I'm here as a judge for the contest.
I have to say that this is a wonderful piece, Mandy. It's quite spooky and you're so descriptive which is a really nice touch. I love how you wrote in a first person perspective. I could feel the narrator's every emotion as they're dying and going through the house. It kind of reminds me of Silent Hill, but in a good way.
My only small drawback is the text being the same color as the background which makes it hard to read, but this was still a wonderful poem and it's one of my favorites so far.
Great job!October 28th, 2013 at 12:55am -
I've never read a Halloween poem before!!! This was stunning, you captured the essence of the entire holiday and it really got me int the spirit as well :) Your rhyme scheme kept things flowing and consistent. Great job!!!October 20th, 2013 at 11:50pm
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I've never read a Halloween poem before!!! This was stunning, you captured the essence of the entire holiday and it really got me int the spirit as well :) Your rhyme scheme kept things flowing and consistent. Great job!!!October 20th, 2013 at 11:50pm
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I've never read a Halloween poem before!!! This was stunning, you captured the essence of the entire holiday and it really got me int the spirit as well :) Your rhyme scheme kept things flowing and consistent. Great job!!!October 20th, 2013 at 11:50pm
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@ XXXataktoulaXXX
Thanks!October 7th, 2013 at 07:15pm -
This was very nice.
It's very ''straight to the point'' and it comes off strong. The only thing I'd suggest is to change the text of the layout to orange or white. It would fit much better than red. October 7th, 2013 at 07:03pm -
@ P.B.Darkside
Thanks :)October 7th, 2013 at 02:26am -
As a fan of poems that rhyme, I absolutely loved this, especially the last verse. It was perf! Great job!
October 7th, 2013 at 02:03am
Your rhyming scheme for this drew me straight in and I love that. It just hits you instantly and makes everything read so well that I had finished before I had realised! Your poetic meter is pretty much spot-on as well, which I can never seem to achieve so super well-done on that!
You build up suspense really well throughout this, I think that has something to do with the short and snappy stanzas that you've written. It builds up and builds up tot he main event and then after the narrator dies, you've got that fabulous closing verse that seems to just cinch everything off so perfectly. The rose thing can be a little cliché at times, but I think it fits in perfectly with everything here and doesn't seem cliché at all! You've left a lot of questions to the reader as well, ones which you address in the piece itself (the reason I was chose), which I quite like because it almost seems as if it isn't over and it leaves me with chills. Super job!