It's Been a Year - Comments

@ lakielu
I love you too.. I hope you're doin alright. That stuff down there just proved its done for good. An I'm okay with it.

Hey, I love you. Idk. I shouldn't even be commenting after what happened down there but yeah, okay, bye.

@ sleep dealer
I'll Always Be Around-Brighten

You do deserve it. You deserve everything. I gave up everything. I got into school in new jersey. I saved up money to move to you. But instead I had to stay in this shit hole and battle with meth, coke and way too much alcohol. I'm on the road to recovery.. its been a little more than a month. I stopped talking to you. I stopped trying to even keep you as a friend because you said, "He is what makes me happy." So I let it be. You were happy. Or so you said, but i just want you to be fucking happy. That's all. Thats all I've ever wanted. That's all. can I ask you something? I just need an answer.

I would if I could. I don't deserve it. I took away your happiness just like I probably took away TJ's. I'm just done, I'm barely able to sum up a thought concerning how to keep living. I'm hanging on, I just want everyone I care about to be happy. Including you. I'm just not an option anymore. I'm a pussy piece of shit that will die off eventually. As the almighty Kurt Cobain would say, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

@ sleep dealer
It is. My life is just.. Silent. It's condensed and slow and empty. Your boyfriend doesn't hate you. And I could never hate you. Even if I wanted to. Like it's not possible. It was a rapid ending that left me with no closure. And every single date that has any connection to you tears my heart out. July 19th, May 23rd, April 27th, the entire month of February, New Year's Eve and Christmas. All of them.. You need to find happiness Courtney. You deserve it. Don't let my misery be a waste. Please.. Find happiness.. Please..

This is beautifully sad, & painful, but only for me because well...this is us. & it was a rapid ending, & a silent year between us. My boyfriend? He hates me now. You hate me. I hate me. In the end, none of us are happy..