I really like how you've conveyed such deep love and solace that it's almost painful. It's really powerful and relatable. You've managed to describe their relationship without forcing it too much.
Your word choice is fantastic for the style of this piece and the emotions you portray. You have a great balance of strong, powerful words and soft, delicate ones. Their contrast adds to the feelings expressed in this poem.
Though I realise that these are lyrics, I'd appreciate some punctuation since it's read as a poem not a song. I also did notice a couple little errors such as spacing. Nothing major, just thought I'd let you know.
I really like how you've conveyed such deep love and solace that it's almost painful. It's really powerful and relatable. You've managed to describe their relationship without forcing it too much.
Your word choice is fantastic for the style of this piece and the emotions you portray. You have a great balance of strong, powerful words and soft, delicate ones. Their contrast adds to the feelings expressed in this poem.
Though I realise that these are lyrics, I'd appreciate some punctuation since it's read as a poem not a song. I also did notice a couple little errors such as spacing. Nothing major, just thought I'd let you know.
Well done on writing a strong poem!