The poem itself is pretty good, although try not to use as many commas as you do. That makes the entire poem like one giant sentence. Break up the phrases a little, recite it to yourself the way you want it to be read and use the punctionuation that you do when you read it,
it may seem like a little thng but it adds up to what you want the reader to feel afterwards.
it may seem like a little thng but it adds up to what you want the reader to feel afterwards.
=]