Your piece is very powerful. My one suggestion to you would to separate out your rhyme schemes into stanzas. You really don't have to, I think this thought has more to do with my own writing style, but it would be interesting to see what that one change would do to the piece. In any case, I really loved your piece and I'm glad to hear that you have found an outlet in writing as so many others have. It can really help. I first used it to identify the darkness within me and I know use it to remind myself of where I don't want to return to. ~Keep writing
~Keep writing