July 8th, 2014 at 06:01am
This poem is really interesting. I felt the use of enjambment in the opening lines was very effective, and it set a really strong tone and personality for the piece.
In the middle, though, I got confused. The use of such frequent periods made it unclear where one thought or idea ended and the next began. Then the line "it was Skipper who was the kitten of your desired affection" threw me off completely; there's nothing within the poem to indicate what's actually going on. I know this is based off of part of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, but for people unfamiliar with that (like myself), the poem stops making sense for a while there. (Also, in terms of more specific qualms, the phrase "All I am valued at is being a vessel" doesn't flow very well grammatically, which also threw me off.)
I like how it keeps coming back to the idea of the lock and comes full-circle in the end (repeating "I put a lock on the cabinet door"), and the way the speaker talks to the person the poem directed at creates a great sense of tension.
Thanks for the comment. Yeah, as I said it was written for school and based off of a play, so I can see how that would get confusing, for someone who is unfamiliar with the play. It makes perfect, perfect sense and I'm glad you gave me the feedback that you did. It means a lot that you took the time to really try and help me.