Safe & Sound - Comments

THIS IS LEGIT THE CUTEST THING LIKE FROM THE FIRST LITTLE STANZA I MELTED INTO A PUDDLE OF NOTHINGNESS FROM ALL THE ADORABLE

"Everyday I like to remind the world
"Vic is mine.""



Each little piece is more adorable and sweet and heart achingly cute than the last. It's gold. I'm in absolute love, I adore it, and who are the horrid people saying Vic isn't good enough for her, like chill. They are baes when apart and super!baes when together so clearly someone's facts are off.

"Darling, you'll be okay."

JADOJQSPQNSIDBQLDLWJALXBAL I AM A PUDDLE OF NOTHING HERE N O T H I N G.

The last two stanzas oh my God please someone collect me now I am through I am finished I am pleased to have this be the last thing I read it's so darling and cute I'm in so deep with this poem and it's Venna and it's. so. adorable.

I LOVE THIS TO BITS AND PIECES OKIE I AM HAPPY TO READ THIS BEFORE I GO TO BED IT'S SO AKAPSNALSJA.

Alright, first off your background is gorgeous and I love the simplicity and colours -- especially the pastel banner. It reflects the title so well too -- the soft colours really do make you feel "safe and sound", especially as they aren't garish in scheme or anything.

Moving on, I love how you haven't used a syllable count or anything for your lines / verses, rather kept it free. I really admire it, as it's something I can't do myself. (It really bugs my mind when I read it back to myself, but with other people's I'm like ) The only thing I could possibly critique you for is your use of full stops (periods?) after most of the lines, especially early on in the poem. It really breaks the flow at some points, and a comma, semi colon or colon is much better suited rather than a jarring "STOP!" you know? Poems also don't necessarily need full stops at the end of every verse (they don't necessarily need any punctuation at all actually) since the start of the next line is capitalised and does the job for you and the "flow" can be preserved with a different punctuation mark or even "and". For example:

Some nights,
We’re still awake at 3 AM,
Singing together with the lights down low.
Afterwards, you pull me onto your lap.
Then we look back at the beginning:

We were in the rain.
Your dark hair was plastered to your face,
My makeup was streaming down my cheeks.
Your fingers ran through my soaked blonde locks,
And I felt your lips for the first time.

(Honestly they're the only two verses which seemed off, the rest are fab!)

Moving on, I love the subject of the poem it is literally the sweetest. I was smiling like an idiot when I finally got to the end. Like, aww, cuties.
I totally get Jenna's point of view and her fears and then aww. You're such a sweetheart Jenna this is why you are mine tbh. This is gorgeous, just like the gal who wrote it.