I really like this. I love how this is written in a verse/poetic format, but it really tells a story. There's definitely a strong narrative here. I can also sense the strong emotions that must have gone into this. Also, I like how the author's note is sort of part of the work.
I love how strong your narrative is here, it gives off a lot of confidence which is really inspiring to read. It also feels very raw and emotional. Nicely done!
Kudos!