Without Wings - Comments

I'm here as a judge for the Magazine contest

I love that you chose to write about breaking away from a toxic relationship as the "awakening". It's so relatable and I think you did a wonderful job describing it here. Normally, I can never really get into poems because I have a hard time finding the meaning in them with all the fluffy language, but you used such simple words to describe something so big and deep, that it made it hit really hard and you got across everything that you wanted to. I really loved that you showed how much relationships can change with the seasons, and that you sort of matched the weather within those seasons to the way that the person was feeling.

And the end was lovely. It showed that even if everything within you is broken, you can still escape and fly away, as it were.

Lovely job, I really enjoyed this.

Here as a judge for the Magazine contest!

I think the best part of this poem is the fact that you've got simple words, but there's an entire lifetime hidden between the lines that comes across so well when I'm reading. That's difficult to do in poetry and you've pulled it off so wonderfully here. I also like that there's this aspect of changing as the seasons go. I find that relationships -- whether romantic or not -- always change depending on the seasons, so it's something hyper-realistic and although this is more of a downfall of a relationship than anything, it's also something that I can relate to in terms of the changes to the weather reflecting in the changes of a relationship. I also love the power of that final change, that final choice -- the narrator shows incredible strength to just walk away, and it's something that makes me respect the narrator as a person so much more. Like isak valtersen, I also love the wings metaphor at the end. It's almost giving this idea that since breaking away from this toxic relationship, the narrator is now soaring through the skies and I just love that picture.

This was wonderful. Fantastic job.

This was a wonderful and powerful poem that speaks volumes both loudly and softly.

Where you used simplicity, you delivered complexity and fifty different emotions. The stylistic choice of using the seasons to show the gradual downfall of the relationship was a great choice; it spread out the timeline, and it fit into the seasons both in their softness and harshness. Summer was bright and sweet, fall was getting colder and darker, and then by winter, it's ice and pain. You used this to express the stages—the love, the happiness, and then the anger and the sadness. You fit into the tone of melancholy of autumn and then into the cold solitude of winter, so the power of freedom that came with summer coming back around was compelling. It was such a great stylistic choice that definitely added to the power of the poem. Also, the metaphor of wings and flying away was fantastic because I thought of birds and how they change when the seasons change, too. Great touch.

This was definitely exactly what I imagined to fit into a contest called spring awakening. It was sad, powerful and beautifully written. Fantastic job!

This speaks volumes to me

This is sad and beautiful at the same time.