The last line sounds a bit awkward. Perhaps put the time units first, and then describe how quickly they are moving in relation to the city and its progression. Also the use of "goddamn" takes away from the otherwise colloquial language used throughout the poem. Perhaps replace it with something else or remove it entirely. Big fan of frank ocean myself and a very somber poem here reminding me of days past. Thanks for posting this!
September 22nd, 2018 at 02:57am
