My Ash - Comments

Omg I love you.
The end :D







YAY *tears*

I really like your structure, but I'm confused. Is Ash a person, or are you personifying ash with anthropomorphism? Another thing -- this could be fun (just a suggestion) -- one thing I like to do -- if you add words that sound similar, people make connections both within the poem, and also in the larger spectrum (in their own personal lives). Give your reader something to relate to and to draw connections with. You have a lot of "O" sounds -- just something you could look into. Nice work =]