Yeah, its good but you have just a couple things that you may wish to fix. The first is your editing always make sure to re-read things (shinning instead of shining, that type of thing) and the only other thing is that some of your verbs don't quite fit. (sidewalk accompanying the steet) I understand what you are trying to say but that one seems to bug me for some reason. You may wish to change it to racing or something like that. Besides that its great. The ending verse is perfect.
November 24th, 2008 at 03:58am