I'm the same way, I have a few friends I trust, but even with them I hold back, waiting wearily for them to betray me as well.. I know I shouldn't be like that, but, I can't help it. I love them more than life it's self, but I can't truly believe that they won't turn on me given the chance.. I feel guilty about it.. but, I don't know how to change it.
oh wow this was amazing!!!! i know how it feels to be hurt by the people I love, just recently actually. it's hard to forgive and to trust. but i still have a couple of friends i am trusting with my life :)