Babysitting is Not Fun

Every once in a while
I start to feel quite cheery
My mood is up
My smile is on
My life is not so dreary

So I walk out
Of my house
And shout out to the sky
"A babysitter you might need
and a babysitter is I!"

So in come all the calls and pleads
"Will you watch dear Tommy?"
And me, the lovely kid I am
Says "Yes!" to the mommy

It's fun at first
We play games
Then he takes a nap
And I say 'aww' at his face
Man, I'm such a sap

He wakes up with a runny nose
Yellows, and whites and greens
"EEEEEWWW"
I say, just as he goes
ACHOOOO! Right at me!

He scrunches up
His face turns red
And his mouth opens wide
Then the spit and snot flies
Straight at my darling head

The little fucker sneezed
Right into my mouth
This is why I don't babysit
Screw you fuckers,
I'm out.