Clerks

Snootch to the Nootch! As most people who will read this know that that is one of Jay's favorite lines used in the viewaskewniverse. But were here to talk about the starting of the viewaskewniverse: Clerks.

Clerks is the first feature film written by Kevin Smith. This film has been known as a cult classic and some say it is Smith's best film.

Clerks was filmed in black and white due to the fact that Kevin didn't have the money to put it in color. Clerks is about a guy named Dante Hicks, played by Brian O'Halloran, who works at a local convenience store, The Quick Stop, with his best friend from high school: Randal Graves, played by Jeff Anderson. The main plot of the movie is just two guys and their day at work. Though it shows what working behind a counter can be a roller coaster in so many words. Dante shows up at six AM to open the store after getting a phone call from his boss. His boss says he'll be in by noon and Dante can split, but in the great words of the writer Kevin Smith himself: That is not the case sir.

Clerks also introduces our buddies Jay and Silent Bob, Jay played by Jason Mewes and Silent Bob played by Smith himself. The film is the introduction to the two as essentially drug dealers out in front of the RST Video store where they bum around, talk to people, sell weed, dance in the dark to hip-hop and metal playing on their ghetto blaster. Jay spews out many lines such as:

"I don' care if she's my cousin or not, I'ma knock those boots again tonight."
Well, I think you get the idea, most of his quotes are too harsh for some.

Randal shows up about twenty minutes into the move and really comes out as the man of the hour. He has a sarcastic, rude, lude and horrible comment for every scenario. Through out the day he bothers and badgers the customers and Dante is left cleaning up the mess and working damage control.

In one day Randal manages to spit water on a costumer, talk about porn in front of a young child, sell a four-year-old cigarettes, knock over a casket at a funeral and tell Dante's girlfriend, Veronica, that Dante is still in love with his high school sweetheart, Caitlyn.

As the day continues Dante finds out that Caitlyn is getting married and he continued to gripe about it for some of the film usually followed by his famous line:

"I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

After this he finds out his boss will not be coming in to take his shift and the hockey game he was scheduled to play had to be played on the roof. Shortly after the ball is lost and the game ended the two go to a late high school friend's wake, where they had to flee within five minutes of arriving because Randal knocked the casket over.

As the night continues Caitlyn shows up to straighten some things out with Dante and they decided to set up a date. Randal finds this out and talks to Dante about it he soon tell Dante's girlfriend, Veronica, about it. In the end Dante and Randal get into a fight and clear things up by closing.

There are many, many, many more jokes within this movie. I suggest picking it up, it is truly a cult classic and praised by many movie reviewers as hilariously funny.