I Killed My Mother (J'ai tué ma mère)

The film opens with Hubert Minel, a 16 year old living in suburban Montreal with his single mother, Chantale, giving a monochrome monologue, where he outlines the fact that although he has love for his mother, he cannot stand to be her son – This ultimately being the plot of the film. The first few scenes are a mere compilation of their discourse as a family unit, with Hubert and Chantale fighting over the most minor provocation; Hubert even going as far to tell his teacher, Ms Cloutier, that his mother is dead, just to avoid her.

Ms Cloutier, along with Antonin, Hubert’s best friend, appear to be the only positive force in his life at this point, with Antonin’s mother being somewhat pseudo to Hubert’s. In seeing how Antonin’s mother treats him, Hubert consciously decides to be more respectful to his mother, hoping in return she will do the same. She does, to an extent, but when she discovers that Antonin is actually Hubert’s boyfriend, she becomes hurt that Hubert did not tell her and becomes irate again. After an argument which consequences in Chantale leaving Hubert in the street with no house key, Hubert runs away from home, taking refuge initially with Ms Cloutier.

As a result of this, he is send to boarding school, which he despises. Whilst there, he meets Eric, who takes an immediate interest in him. At a party together at the end of term, Eric offers Hubert speed, which then leads to them kissing. Hubert rushes home to his mother at this point, telling her that he loves her, though she is despaired by the fact that Hubert is blatantly high. In the days following this, Hubert spends as much time as possible with Antonin. He soon finds out though that his mother has submitted him for a new term and descends into depression again.

Hubert is beaten up once back at school and also finds out that Ms Cloutier has moved away forever, which leads him to run away. He and Antonin stay at an old beach house belonging to Hubert’s father, Antonin telling Hubert that he loves him. It appears that Hubert never tells Antonin of the kiss nor of his being beaten up. Chantale finds Hubert and the film ends with them sitting on the beach, followed by a compilation movie of Hubert as a child.

Review

Firstly, I must say, I cannot recommend this movie enough; even if this review does not do it for you, or if my write up of the plot does not appear to appeal to you – Please, please go for it, it really is divine!

First up, it’s one of the most relatable movies I have seen in a long time and it’s the sort of film I wished I had been able to see when I was in my earlier teens. To me, I felt strongly that most all teenagers would have been able to watch at least one scene in the film and go “damn, I was there!”, and I always thought that having perspective of “it’s not just me” is useful in one's comprehension of family issues. I know this is a strong notion, suggesting that the film is in some way highly profound. But that’ the point – it’s not – It’s mundane realism to a beautiful extent and such a thing offers perspective, away from the sensationalised methods of movies containing similar themes.

The film is actually a semi-autobiographical account of the childhood of director and writer Xavier Dolan, who also plays the central character Hubert. This adds another element of the tragic, and also allows for the film to be far more emotive and in-depth that similar films, as Dolan himself was only just out of his teens when the movie was released, though claiming that he had begun to write the script when he was sixteen. It was later revealed that his mother was not able to see the film until mere days before its release, due to obstructions in their relationship. Having such a personal response to a tragic theme helped massively in the realism of the thing, which again, is such a wonderfully alternative element of the movie, that excels it into greatness.

The artistic style of the whole thing though it was is really defining. Muted colours are used all the way through the movie bar two scenes. One, a Freudian dream Hubert has where he chases his mother, who is wearing a wedding dress, through a wood, and another, a scene where after painting a room together, Antonin and Hubert make love on the floor, with Noir Desir’s “Vive la Fete” sounding the proceedings; the colours here drawing attention to the emotional implications of the scenes compared to their poignant contexts. Aside from this, a Kubrick-style direction is taken, with the shots themselves appearing like perfectly framed pieces of artwork, using both symmetry and well-designed urban imagery to create beautifully direct and impactful visual scenes. As previously mentioned, the music used in the piece is also very powerful, with some scenes using highly emotive songs, such as the aforementioned track by Noir Desir, but others, using variations of violin, creating an almost comic affect.

The cast here is wonderfully talented, and very suited, creating the sort of lifelike charm found in a lot of French-speaking films. Dolan is simply perfect, though I will admit I have a certain bias as I discovered this movie after watching another movie of his, entitled “Heartbeats” (which you should also watch!), which to me was equally stunning in its artistic prowess but not as thought-provoking as a piece. François Arnaud as Antonin is ultimately endearing and provides a complementing contrast to Hubert’s somewhat less laid back character; and Anne Dorval as Chantale is a wonderful addition, offering the desired bitter yet comical traits that add the realism in Chantale’s character.

One last element that I feel it is necessary to comment on would be its label as a gay movie. Upon hearing this after purchasing it but having not watched it at the time, I couldn’t help but let out a sigh of aggravation, mumbling “oh bloody hell”. Of course, this wasn’t because of the gay theme, considering the same-sex nature of my own partner, but it was more because of the way such a theme is often presented in more alternative/indie pictures. Of course there are some gems out there, such as movies like “Dream Boy” and “Prayers for Bobby”, but others, like the campy-ass, pointless independent releases of “Another Gay Movie” and “Polter-gay”, have in the past made me loose hope in watching a decent movie that covers same sex relationships that is released from an independent company, which is a shame considering how these movies can often be better than bigger releases. Here though, it is done perfectly. Not camp, not over the top, not a central theme – Entirely real. The film is not about being gay, in the same way that if one is gay, one’s life is not about being gay. Well done Dolan!

Please, please watch this – buy this. It’s so damn beautiful; it’s just excellent. I can’t speak more favorably about it. Just go for it. It’s ten quid for something I promise you’ll want to watch again. And again.