If You Fall, I Fall - Comments

One Shot For One Shot - Under The Rose

It was cute.
I like how that it was happy and at the end was the cherry on top.

Hah, you're very welcome.
I'm so sorry it took so long(:

OHMYGOD IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Avery was very happy as well. Totally something she would do XD THANKIES THANKIES THANKIES!!

Alright! Just message me and I'll give detail.
Thank you(:

omg these are amazing, i would love a mikey way one shot

^ Yes to the first one.

And armbands are kind of like status markers. It could be status in society or just status at school, whatever.

Um, what are armbands?
Rofl - Like, wtf?

Is that what a song fic is?
Having the lyrics in between each paragraph?
Hmph. I just thought it was centering a story around a song, like, making the feelings and things from the song in the story.
Rofl, I was wrong. (Btw, i'm talking about Open your eyes) Or whatever. :D

^Yes you can. I will message you the form and get right back to you(:

Can I request a story?

I loved the way you showed her take on the armbands and the unfairness of it all, but not in a hating way. She just didn't understand, it seemed.

The teddy bear was my favorite part, in all honesty. I used to have the same attatchment to my bear, and had to give it away. It broke my heart, and you did a very good job in portraying that fact. She never wanted to let it go. It was like the only anchor she had left to her childhood and she was afraid to leave it behind.

The way her mother just walked away when her brother was arrested was horrible. But it was also understandable in a way. I assume that he had been warned multiple times, but he just wouldn't listen. She just couldn't take it anymore, hence the walking away.

Good job, my dear! :hug:

Sorry for the late comment! My computer decided to break
Anyway, I really liked it! I could really feel the emotion within the piece :)

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I'd ignore the comment above (just take the paragraph ruling into consideration) but with the whole 'cliche' and 'unrealistic' thing is out of order. You're a good writer, and don't give up on it!

Oneshot for Oneshot

:cute: Hai thur.
:shifty You do know about the paragraph spacing rule right? How you have to....space between paragraphs? That's the one thing I noticed. And like....it's kinda no spacing at all between punctuation (sometimes there isn't any punctuation at all o.o). That's really gotta be fixed, like STAT, or you're gonna get reported and suspended, honig.
I mean, I really can't focus on the content at all if it isn't done properly.
Um, well I'm gonna read through this anyway and see.
The part about her mother's death could be detailed more, give more insight into what happened, etc. We know so little about the scenario when it seems that the character holds a lot of emotion about it inside.
It's rather cliched, and I don't exactly think that, even though A7X do go have stage names, they would actually go by them in the real world. It's a bit unrealistic and makes it more cliched. All numbers too, they should be written in word form. Proper grammar.
The fact that she suddenly falls in love with the character she has just met is, again, very cliched.
And the ending of this chapter, about how she suddenly, miraculously recognizes him out of the blue...not buying it. The whole chapter is unrealistic and highly cliched.

For You Don't Have To Be Alone:
Was this for a contest? I think I'd seen it before. :shifty
ANYWHO, it was cute. And well-written.

DAMNNN!!!!!!!!!!!! That was awesome! Keep going with these Hell your'e good!