Yet Another Jonas - Comments

Oh my gosh! It has been FOREVER!! I missed this story so much! Update soon! Of you need me to write some more then let me know. :)

I love this I can't wiat for more poor Shelby and all of them really. Stupid Matt

awesomeeeeeee
i get to write more??????????????
yesssssssssssssss

Love It xxx

yayyyy!! I'm glad I could help!

What parts did you tweek though???

I'm glad you did a chapter with everyone's thoughts. Love it! update soon<3

awesome! this is a great story
:)

Okay, I'm probably biased because I absolutely hate the Jonas Brothers, but this story was...bad. Not the worst, but still pretty terrible.

First, your writing is horrible. It reads more like a diary entry than an actual story. Stop using chatspeak, stop using so many exclamation points, work on your spelling/grammar, and show, don't tell. You're telling us what's happening, but not actually showing us. Write about what's happening, don't just tell us what the current character is thinking.

Also, it would be nice if you didn't change P.O.V.'s so often. It gets extremely confusing. A good author doesn't need to constantly change P.O.V.'s to make the story work.

Allie is a blatant self-insert and a Mary Sue. What are her flaws? She doesn't have any, simple as that. She's absolutely perfect, from her acne-free skin to her thin frame to her sparkling personality. Everybody loves her except her ex-boyfriend Matt, who goes from total sweetheart (in Allie's eyes) to complete ass in no time at all. As for the self-insert part...you gave her your own name.

Last but not least, this story is chock-full of cliches. Someone gets cheated on, someone gets raped, someone falls in love with their best friend's brother...it sounds like you've read the Suethor Handbook front to back. Been there, done that, don't wanna do it again. Mix it up already!

All in all, this story could definitely use some improvement. I suggest you take creative writing classes.

i really liked it (:
update soon!

Omg, please update sooon!!!! (:
can't wait for more!!! <3

OH MY JONAI.

It has been too long love. I feel horrible for not commenting (or reading) the story sooner! You can virtually hit me... I promise I won't flee.... Okay I can't promise ;) But I'm so worried about Nia. Is she going to be okay? Is she going to be mute for the rest of the story? She can't be because she is a very important character according to -uh- the story. :D I love it! Update soon!

Well to get off the subject and talk to you: Have you seen their movie? Have you been watching JONAS? Don't you love them? I do. Did I tell you I learned how to play 'Give Love A Try' on my guitar? Oh and I'm learning 'Fly With Me' too. O.O That reminds me!!! Did you hear their new album? If you did.... which is your favorite song? Jeez it's so hard to choose but if I was forced to I would choose 'Hey Baby'... I just love Nick's voice in that song. *sigh* WOAH. I just notice how long this comment is... Well I'll end it so you don't have to read anymore. You know I love you bestie! <3

+Elizabeth+

love it
xxx

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Update soon... or I'll come for you...
>:)

Love it Allie! it's amazing and I'm glad you're back.

Poor Girls.
Please Update Soon.
Please!

Finally, you updated! It was worth it though. LOVE It! update soon<3

love it
and
was worth the wait!

please please please please please please please please please please please please update soon! pretty please with a cherry on top! this is an amazing story! i have to know how it ends(:

i love this cnt wait 4 more
n hope u get bak on2 mibba soon
!!!!!!!!!!!

luv the story

yea you updated