The Boarding House - Comments

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YAY! (skips around the room in circles) <---I actually do that...

I kept you from your studies! I didn't know my own strength (of persuasive powers I mean ^_^)
Dude! Thankies so muchies. There are much less grEmmmir mIshtakies and the story has kept me interested up until now and I have a good fuzzy feeling it will keep on doing so.

Next chapter!
Me: (reading happily) la la la la. Hmmm...Yay! Next chapter! *Click* It's not working!

I like the whole idea of the boarding house, how species from other dimensions pop in and out for a brief (or long) stays and just go crazy. Chapter 7 vos...different. She should've blasted them to Timbuktu long time ago. Besides for yer small i's and here and there a comma or semi colon, etc, ommited, I love your use of words and the story flows smoothly.

More! (bangs table and throws a tantrum)

looooovved it
<33
though chapter 7 was kinda random
and i was like huh?
and then wanted to deck the two idiots
moooree plz
<33 <33

ahah YAY :D
LOVED IT! poor skalett

oooo i super love this as you knoww :)
its completely fabby!
imma subscribe and read it obsessively, so many mysteries!!!
xx

I really liked this a lot. I'm super interested to see where it will go. <3

I’m not going to freak out, I asked for constructive criticism which is what you’ve given ^_^

First point, I do understand about the long sentences and I never got the hang of semi-colons last year but I’m hoping that by writing more and with a stricter marking scheme I’ll be able to see exactly where I’m going wrong and how to rectify it.

What do you mean, you haven’t heard ‘reaching theatre’? I don’t quite understand that and looking back over the second sentence you pointed out I see grammatical flaws now.

No I think I meant it to be like that, it’s meant to be a heavy sentence kinda thing.

It is like ‘Skah-let’ but I will be picking out other people who will pronounce her name a little differently because of racial accents which will be fun to write.

And I plan to. ^_^

notes i took while reading.
dude, don't freak out! me being all superhuman-editor-like is a pretty rare occurence, actually.
V
V
'I waited in the corridor, pacing restlessly, sitting on the cold plastic seats, gazing out of the window, counting the minutes since I had been stopped from following my brother into the operating room.'
this sentence is a little long. maybe 'I waited in the corridor, alternating between pacing restlessly and sitting on the cold plastic seats. Occasionally I would gaze out of the window, but constantly was my internal clock counting the minutes since I had been stopped from following my brother into the operating room.' idk, that was a little awkward too.

description of crash/Mythicals piques interest, doesn't give too much away. :]

couple incidences of commas used where semicolons/dashes should have been.

'reaching theatre' - haven't heard that one. hope 'twill be explained. :]

'No, I needed the empty silence of being alone, I didn’t want my parents to be there, all I wanted was for my brother to come out of that room groaning and moaning that he was hungry and then moving too quickly and wincing from the pain as he always did after an injury.'
another smidge-too-long sentence.

My face an expressionless mask, my pace steady, my eyes hard, my lips closed.
do you mean, 'my face was...'? or is that intentional? to me, it seems a slight bit dead-weighty with four fragments and no verbs to pick it up a little.

i wonder how the Mythical reproduction quandary will work out?

and just cos i'm OCD like that, how do you pronounce Skalett's name? is it like 'Skah-let' or 'Ska-lett'?

continue. :]