Guardian Angel, Watch Over Me - Comments

@ RachTheBat_
I'm glad you liked it

I must admit, Twilight is my guilty pleasure. Emmett being my favourite
I liked the banter between the guys, I must say you write male dialogue very well.
Pfft, you should be honoured Emmett has taken an interest in your daughter
My god! it's so intense! I'm sat here with my mouth hanging open reading this! Admittedly, with a sad expression, but awwed nonetheless!
Gahh!! Such a powerful yet heart warming ending!! I love how you wrote Rosalie as a flash of light, comparing her to an angel, lovely!
I am just in awe of you! You have such a wonderful and creative imagination. You captured his character perfectly, yet put your own spin on his story.
Amazing! The imagery you create and the way your words just flow into each other, is outstanding! I'm just in love with your writing

This was amazing. I loved it!

This has got to be the best oneshot of Emmett I have read on Mibba!
You have definitely captured his character before he was a vampire and how he lived.
He was the proud son of his father and he was very kind to others and a bit of a flirt.
I bet if Antony actually listened to Emmett instead of shooting him, Emmett might have made it out alive but he didn't.
I wonder if that was Rosaline that saved him! X3
This is amazing oneshot!
Good Job! XD

That was very well written. The way the words set an image in my mind, envisioning what was exactly happening was amazing. The detail and description was brilliant and well worded.
I thought Anthony over-reacted a tad bit, but who knows what father's act like. And in a way it was Anthony's fault that Emmet was dead.
The ending was great even though I didn't catch it all, my eyesight is bad even with my glasses. Very well written, had great words in the whole one-shot and overall, amazing.
This was very good, you are really good with writing.

Third prize for Twilight Oneshot contest.

Okay, so I wrote a whole review and then my internet fucked up and lost it. I'll try my best to remember what I wrote, and please forgive me if it's a little short?

I'm also so sorry it took a long time to get this comment to you - I've been busy with exam work and it was hard to find time to sit down and re-read them all. I hope you don't mind. :]

I thought the oneshot was well done, and I liked how you added your own little sub-plots and didn't just stick to information given from the Twilight saga - it just spoke to me that you have imagination and it gave the story depth and character, so well done on that point. I also really liked the italicized parts; even though as a Twilight reader I knew what was going to happen, it gave a sense of mysetery and added suspense, making me want to read on.

I loved Emmett's character. I thought he stayed true to the canon personality Meyer gave him and he came alive on the page/screen. “As if you were ever cut like me.” Emmett laughed loudly, his arms held up to flex the thick bands of muscles as his head fell back. - That part made me laugh. He came across as witty, funny, charming and a little cocky at times - just how I imagine him to be when I read Meyer's books.

It's hard to analyze dialogue using specific examples, and there is alot of it in this story. However, you managed to add backstory and personality to your characters well using speech - for instance, Emmett's attitude towards women and how they see him, and the characters of the other men in the hunting trip. :cute:

The sun was almost a low ball in the sky; almost swallowed completely by the earth as the hunters reached their cabin. This is just one of many sentences that I loved in terms of imagery. You have a lovely blend of descriptive words in here that aren't too overpwering but show off your talent nicely. :

“You were right; you’re going to get shot!” Anthony pulled his rifle into his hands and aimed it at Emmett’s broad chest. Emmett’s hands shot up to his sides, palms forward and stepped back. :shock: This really surprised me! Way to put a plot twist in there. I don't like Anthony at all. :grr: Who wouldn't want Emmett as their son in law? :roll:

With a powerful jerk and a blood cooling rip, Emmett’s chest was torn open. He yelled, feeling everything but slowly loosing life, Emmett went limp and waited for death to drown him. As his eyes began to fade and the color in his cheeks began to drain away, a flash of sparkling white shot across the bloodied soil and Emmett felt the pressure on his body leave. - Sorry to quote so much but I really loved that paragraph. Lovely imagery again, and the flash of white we reconise as Rosalie, a very intriguing way to drop her in. The ending was so sweet and perfect, comparing Rosalie to an angel.

All in all, very well done. It definitely deserved third place and I hope you'll enter in my new fiction oneshot contest? I'd like to read more of this kind of thing from you. :]

OMG!!!!

Kellan is on the background.

*grins like an idiot*

I loved it. I almost cried!

Stupid Anthony.
Ass hole!

Anyways is there going to be more?
Or was it just a one shot?

Yet another creative, intriguing, worthwhile fanfic read of the Twilight series created by you. Marvelous work, love. I'm into it all over again :)

Wow. That was amazing. I really enjoyed that xD G'luck in the contest.

loved it!
very well written :D

Very Interesting, I love it