February 23rd, 2012 at 05:55am
Nothing in This World Can Be Endured Forever - Comments
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I've followed this story for two years and two diff accounts.(My first one got deleted) and I have to say you haven't dissapointed me yet. I love it!January 29th, 2012 at 06:51pm
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I really do love this story!! :)
Update soon!!December 19th, 2011 at 12:38am -
You should really update now! I can't wait when Bill finds out that Tom is his brother! Update please :3
December 11th, 2011 at 12:57am -
Please update! :DNovember 15th, 2011 at 08:56am
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WOW this story is sooo amazing :O
Great job!!May 6th, 2011 at 08:00am -
.... Is that a good wow?March 2nd, 2011 at 10:42pm
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WOW ...March 2nd, 2011 at 09:21am
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This story is magnificent, even though I have only read a few chapters. This might sound really cliché, but the amount of descriptions you have put into each and every chapter paints a picture into my head. I love how you described small things in detail. I really admire your writing style because you can write in such detail without boring the reader. Well, you haven't bored me.
Just by reading the first chapter, I found myself wondering what Bill did to make his family put him through all of that house work; it was even bad enough to make his neighbors talk bad about him. Something else that really interested me was what he did to have his ankle hurt. For some reason, as I began reading this, it sort of reminded me of Cinderella except the main character is a guy and he is a "trouble maker".
Jeez, Bill's father is really mean. Either his father just enjoys hurting his son or Bill did something to cause all that punishment to come to him. Either way, I think that Bill doesn't deserve going through all of that punishment.
Something else before I end this comment. Even though I want to know the reason for everything (why his family is the way they are, what he did to hurt his ankle, etc.), I like how you didn't include any of that information. I think it adds to the mystery of the background story for the family. I also like how, in the ending of the second chapter, he resorts to a childish habit that still calms him down. For some reason, I just like that.February 22nd, 2011 at 03:07am -
I'm just going to say it now, so far I like all of your stories that I've read. No doubt, I'm probably going to like reading the rest, including the ones you didn't recommend. Just putting it out there. You have a real way with words the amount of detail is pretty epic.
I'd gladly subscribe to this one if you continued writing it. Let me know.January 25th, 2011 at 09:09am -
i...wow. i love it. how old is bill?December 4th, 2009 at 04:03am
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Shitfuck, Ry. I'm enthralled, but confused. It's beautiful, with minor spelling errors but we all have those. I feel like you really have a way with language. Each description flows into the next very well, and it makes for a very easy read. It shows that you've put effort into it. I'm just really confused by this Kathleen lady. I also hope that in future chapters you shed some light as to why Bill is treated this way, even though I know you will. Your description of his panic attack was tastefully done, and being someone who often has them, I liked it. Overall, a dandyfinejob.October 14th, 2009 at 04:39am
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I think 'was' should be 'with', unless I'm missing something.- Quote
- He filled one side of the sink half full was warm water
'Stakes' should be 'steaks'. Stakes are pointy things that people use to kill vampires and stuff :XD- Quote
- and let the packaged stakes float around.
Is it weird of me to say that I was panicked, too? :XD I'm like, "Ohmigod, the potatoes aren't done, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO??" Like I said before, I really like your human relation and how you can make your readers feel things without even being the ones to write the story.- Quote
- Bill glanced at the clock and panic flooded him. It was time, and he wasn’t done.
Bahahaha, my heart is racing :XD- Quote
- Eyes wide in horror, he mashed the potatoes faster. Just as he was finished and was about to add the butter, Jorg entered the kitchen. Bill’s mind was flying with excuses. None of them seemed good enough, but he was finished and had a cover over them by the time Jorg was at the sink checking the meat.
OHMIGODDDDDD!!! :XD- Quote
- A wide smile crept onto Jorg’s face. “Oh, you just wait…”
Ahahaha, of course she would say something like that.- Quote
- “God,” she complained. “Take a fucking bath.”
Licked? Is that really what you mean? Or am I just an idiot? xD- Quote
- Afraid to fall and break something Jorg licked
'Scarffed' should be 'scarfed'.- Quote
- scarffed the delicious food up, feeling as if it was too good to be true.
OH. MY. GODDDDDDDDD.- Quote
- His fingers gripped Bill’s hair tightly, lifting the boy up and forcing him in a standing position. Bill’s face contorted in pain as his head was pulled backwards. His shoulders moved in pain in reaction to his head being forced to bend as far back as it would go.
I just figured it was funny to say that that is exactly what my mom said when I slept until eleven when I was sick >.> Just a coincidence there :XD- Quote
- “You fucking think you can get away with sleeping all day, hmm?"
...I could cry at that part- Quote
- Bill continued to pound on the door, crying and calling out to his father, even calling him Dad.
I love how real you made this panic attack. It's amazing :]- Quote
- Bill began gasping for air that wasn’t there, his eyes darting around the dark room. Faces laughed at him from the walls, appearing so suddenly it startled him. They were so clear, as if he was seeing them in a brightly lit room instead of the dark cellar. They all twisted into distorted, ugly human beings that laughed and taunted him. The faces spat words at him that made him afraid to look at any of them, but they were everywhere, surrounding him. There wasn’t a space in the cellar without a face.
Pure uncensored epic-ness. I hate it when people have to censor how real things are. Amanda and you do a really good job of sticking it to you straight. Like, "This is the way it is and if you don't like it, you have to deal with it, kay?"- Quote
- The strong smell of sickness returned to Bill’s attention once again. Never taking his hands off of the figure sharing this room, he reached up and touched the side of his face. He felt his own sick there and almost retched again form the thought of the vile substance being on him, in his hair. He’d never get it out now, with the already sparse bath schedule.
That was beautiful :]- Quote
- Bill banged his fists against the door, screaming out for his father, anybody, to let him out, to please, dear God, please, save me.
That was really beautiful, too. Like, I wouldn't even have thought of something like that.- Quote
- Because the words did little to comfort him, his right thumb found its way into his mouth, resting against his pallet and barely touching his teeth as his mouth accommodated the appendage. He instantly felt comforted by his thumb. He liked the pressure against the roof of his mouth, the feel of it against his lips and how it didn't even touch his teeth.
Aw, this chapter is dedicated to me? That's so sweet :arms:
...you misspelled 'awesome', though :XDSeptember 13th, 2009 at 09:15pm -
I love how flawlessly you can incorporate this kind of stuff into the story. You take something completely normal and then manage to thread the deeper topic into it. Beautiful~- Quote
- The washer and dryer shook with work, and so did Bill.
I think it should be whose were whose. Or whose were who's. Oh gosh, I'm confusing myself. But anyway...yeah. Grammar Nazi coming out.- Quote
- who’s were who’s.
This whole paragraph did a great job in creating a very quiet, peaceful atmosphere. If there was a loud bang right about then, I'd probably jump because that's how well you're creating the atmosphere here :cute:- Quote
- Padding down the hall to Bianca’s clearly labeled door, Bill carefully nudged the white wood open with his shoulder. Just as he assumed, his sixteen year old half-sister was asleep in her luxurious bed. Making sure he took great care to stay silent, he put her clothes neatly in the white and pink dresser, not daring to glance any where else in the room. Once Bill shut the drawers, he crept back outside the room, pulling the door an inch from latching.
'Steal' should be 'steel'.- Quote
- He opened the stainless steal door
This is effective. Really effective. I like it. It shows the servitude that Bill has in the house without shouting, 'HELLO I'M HERE AND I DON'T FIT IN THIS FAMILY'. Nice job.- Quote
- His head instinctively bowed, his eyes fixating on the kitchen tiles rather than the elder man’s face.
'Fallowing' should be 'following'.- Quote
- This Sunday and the fallowing few
Aw :cry: This made me sad for the poor kid.- Quote
- He was stuck weeding and doing grown-up work while everyone around him got to have fun and enjoy the hot day by playing with friends in the front yard or with siblings that were nice.
'Mom's' should be 'moms'. Mom's is possessive and you're trying to show plurality.- Quote
- Both of their mom’s, Bill noticed as his eyes flickered up to the porch, were watching the three play as they talked.
The comma after 'so' should be a period and 'h' in 'her' should be capitalized.- Quote
- “I suppose so,” her lips were set in a tight frown.
Preach it, sister.- Quote
- “They say he’s a bad kid. That he gets into all sorts of trouble, very rebellious. I haven’t heard a damn thing from him that would be something a boy his age would do. There’s been no fireworks or explosives, nothing. I haven’t even heard the boy speak!” she gossiped.
I love how you keep subtlely mentioning his ankle. It makes us wonder what exactly is wrong with it and if his family had some hand in hurting it in any way.- Quote
- Moving slowly, limping more than he had since he’d gotten the injury, Bill washed his hands before folding the clothes. This set was much less embarrassing for Bill, though he was dreading putting them away, all the way upstairs.
Cause of ankle pain, perhaps? :think: Or maybe just a coincidence?- Quote
- Bill’s heart thumped in his chest painfully as he moved away from the stairs, afraid of falling down them like the last time the phone caught him by surprise.
And the suspense begins >.>- Quote
- Mr. Gordon Trümper. Bill, with no surprise, didn’t know who was calling and returned the phone to the charger, carefully continuing on down the hall as the phone continued to ring.
Sorry this wasn't at least four pages on Word like you said :XD I didn't want to go way deep and philosophical in it so this is what you get. Be happy.September 12th, 2009 at 10:48pm -
I think it's epic, Ry.AND I ALSO STOLE YOUR COMMENT VIRGINITY.
If you would like a more detailed review, I'd be happy to give one :cute: If not, just tell me and I'll leave it at these short ones. I never know who wants what nowadays :/September 11th, 2009 at 12:28am
can't wait for the next update!! <3