Blood Stained - Comments

One of the best stories i have ever read alex. I love it.

OK OK :D read the next chapter - you want constructive crit...again, haven't gotten to the end, so I don't know what might happen in a few chapters...I personally reckon you should add a romantic element to it. That ALWAYS catches and holds attention if you manage to do it right ;). Also...maybe lighten up a tiny little bit on the scientific lingo, you know?

Otherwise...keep it up! ;)

p.s. could you do me a favour and read my stories? Cheeky, I know, but I need some proper feedback, like you asked for, you know? Me & Thee and Sugar & Spce :)

Ok cool, I've read the first 2 chappies (and shall definitely read the rest) :). So far (and this is just so far - it may change later, in which case I'll send you another msg lol), it's really original - like a book - which I love! But I was just thinking, that maybe for an online story, it's a bit...impersonal, you know? Haha if you don't understand what I mean just comment me and I'll explain...

Awesome story, and I love your writing style - I genuinely mean that :)

Frangipani ;)

okay.. so imma lil behind commenting here... BUT i read it and WOW! im sad i cant belive you finished it =[[ and you did not 'lose the touch' ...you have the force and thats all that matters =) it was all completely awesome and people DIED from reading it =] (in a good way of course) xD

Alright, since I did not comment last time, I feel sort of obligated to make this comment as long as possible. So there were a couple of small spelling errors the first was silhouette, and the others you just need to add apostrophes for, like there’s. Another mistake was, “Well humanity’s ability to adapt has whats..” The what should not be there, just does not really make sense. The only other thing really popping out is, you missed some periods, so watch out for those. Now that the grammar’s done, I’d just like to say that the end was spectacular, I am glad you finished it the way you did. I also found the writing extremely poetic. This is truly an original story, and your writing is extremely rare, and you know it‘s true. You truly pulled the story together in the unique ending, and I was glad that everything was going into its original manner, overall this story has been fantastic, amazing and completely extraordinary. It was a really great story in all, and even though I did not want it to end, I am extremely excited to see what masterpiece you will come up with next. That is really all I have to say. Except, a job well done, and keep up the good work!

Well I finally finished your story. Loved it. You've got quite a future ahead of you. Keep believing in yourself and your stories. You're an amazing story teller and I'm sure you will be a famous, published author someday. Great work!

I've only read seven chapters so far and I've been drawn into the story. Told you I'm not much on fantasy, but you've captured my attention. I can't really add to what's been said. This is truly a remarkable story. Critricisms - just a few simple ones. Some of the text is bunched together. Suggest you either double space between paragraphs or indent. Also check punctuation and spelling. Only found one mistake so far in spelling - "dieing" is spelled "dying" whether it's dying clothes or death - still spelled the same. Other than that, I can't find fault with anything. I love it. Told you that you're good enough to have an ebook made. I was right! Great job!!!!

EEEP that was so entertaining!! I'm sorry it took so long for me to read and comment... I've just been busy, and I haven't been on mibba much as you know. Anywho, I just loved the writing and the story line, and the one about the Prodigal's Son's background just made me ridiculously sad... but that's good, because you've gotten me attached to the characters, which is harder to do than some people think. Can't wait for the next update, XD

~Rin

Hey, I would just like to point out that this chapter has officially, been added to my favourite chapter list! It was so definitive, and completely harmonious. I am not even sure that there are any other words for it. Again I have to point out missing commas, it takes away from the overall appearance of the chapter itself. Other than that there where no spelling or other grammatical errors. I absolutely love this thorough description that you have given in this chapter, it definitely gave the whole story a good dynamic picture to it. And as you promised the new found information on the prodigal son was very helpful in terms for us to understand his hate for the demon. Overall, well done, and I can not wait for the next chapter!

oh my wow! you made the Bagel proud!
... wow, dude that was REALLLY awesome, im trying to comment differently! =D
I don't know if its just me, but im still a lil bit confused.. could be because i missed a chapterythingy. i finished reading and just sat and stared at the screen =O << Me xD
and no ^_^ it shall be mine!

The fight scene was extremely entertaining. The writing kept me on the edge of my seat! I loved the ending, and the secret past of the prodigal son has got me so eager for the next chapter. NatashaHalloweengirl is right, this story deserves way more stars! It's fantastic.

~Corrine

Hey, this is a great new chapter. It was thrilling, intriguing, and really emotional. I loved the style it was genuinely captivating, keep it in this style, it continues to make the story real. Nothing much I can really say, except that everyone should read this story because it’s a true masterpiece, and you are a great writer! It without a doubt deserves five stars, I had to throw that in for your ego, plus it is true. There was one grammatical error that I found, “Even god’s meet their end. And your’s is now.” The word yours has no apostrophe, just fix that up. Another thing, is you seem to forget commas in random spots, it would help to bring in dramatic pauses, and to tidy up the paragraphs a little bit. Also it seems that the prodigal son has an interesting history, of which we know nothing, of course you will have to further explain in due time. Unless I have just missed something, like usual, then of course you can tell me and forget I wrote that. Keep up the superb work, and continue soon!

nice job. i dunno what do say u can do to make it better, but i cant think of anything....its really good

As much as I hate to leave people with something to work on, I looked at it a couple of times, and literally could not find anything that really stood out as wrong. Oh, okay just realized something! This sentence, "What do you mean… Superstes of aptus... What is Superstes of aptus?” This sentence was a bit off, for only one reason. How did he suddenly come to this realization? Why did he suddenly think that out of all things? That's about it though. I really like this chapter, it indeed was very wise, and I could feel the heaviness of emotion sinking in. It seems as though you have captured the atmosphere around the story to a great extent. In short I absolutely loved it! Great job, keep it up!

Short: yes.
Fillerish: yes.
Bad: NO!
xD
Awesome.....I like this chapter cuz it's not like the other ones, but at the same time, it is.
xD

xoxo
Kaitlyn

I agree with everything NatashaHalloweengirl said, lol. I was gonna point out a few mistakes but she already took care of that part... now to the other bit...
HOLY FRIKK that was pretty sweet cliff hanger! I cannot WAIT until the next chapter! Why was it so short? D': Oh well... update soon, okay?

~Corrine

Hey, sorry for not commenting in awhile other necessary things had to be taken into account, but your story was on my top priority list. Anyways, the only piece of advice I have is in this sentence, "If it weren’t for that small group of humans, lycanthropes and humans that searched me not that many months ago, he would still be alive." You mentioned humans twice, it threw me off guard for a moment while I was reading it. I liked that you changed the view though, quite frankly it was interesting, and a bit of change from the beginning which was good. I almost forgot, one other thing that I think is really important while your writing is to make it really (emphasis on the really!) reach out. You have done it plenty of other times, it just seemed in this chapter, you lost that sense of intensity. Keep up the great work, really. Sorry for the long comment I just figured since I haven’t commented in a while, I should make it longer! :D

I forgot the page claim naming thing! D: okay, *page claim* lol, I'll call this page 'Superstes of aptus' for obvious reasons. lol

Wow, very... mystical. It brings up some new, highly curious questions. I cannot WAIT for the next update! This is the kind of writing that just leaves you craving more, so I expect more.
Soon. XD

~Corrine

This chapter was interesting, though it was a bit short for my liking. I was not expecting the sudden death, though fast, it seemed to pull strings on the raw emotion of the story. I enjoyed the new description your putting in, its a whole new level that this story has taken, and everything seems put together, which is really great. Fantastic. Honestly, keep it up!