His Embellished Confession - Comments

:oops: :oops: :oops:
I feel like such a big n00b for commenting now after comments from a year ago...
I'm still a very big n00b... ._.
>.< But I just really wanted to say how awesome your story was.
I always thought I had a long way to go in writing, but now that I've seen how you write I want to cry! It was absolutely amazing.
Everything was placed in an exact way for the reader to depict the scenes carefully.
Um... :oops: I know this is dorky and all, but I want to mention some things out:

"He kept humming the squalid melody as the speedometer maniacally increased."

I imagined this {I don't know if this was on purpose} but this reminded me of a heart rate, and how he felt so excited when killing all those many women.

"Sporadically humming a Beach Boys song, he grabbed the shovel and frantically started digging. A convulsion of the mind unveiled his hunger for a murder. A dash of the sun rays, coming through the branches, made the sweat drops on his forehead look magnificent. Almost godly."

I thought this was ironic, since the Beach Boys are all about niceness and peace.
Plus, the simple fact that he like to overpower women brought in the 'almost godly' line into perfect sense. :3 Since he thought of himself as all that.

"He enjoyed seeing her suffer, stabbing her deep enough to fill her eyes with a fear of death; shallow enough to extend the pain, not letting her die instantly."

This is probably one of my favorite lines in the whole thing. It's crazy, since the whole thing is pretty much my favorite one-shot, but I like how you depicted him in this line. It brings his character together.

Um, I'm pretty much done. n_n
I'm a big fan of CSI and murder/mysteries, so as far as this goes I haven't read a story that compares to yours.

Scars.:

His cabaret mind, singing and jiving to a melody of murder, was fantasizing about stabbing her moist flesh; her scented and silky skin with a cold, steel serrated knife.

Am I allowed to say that this was the best one-shot on mibba?
Yes, it sure is.

I really like your writing.
It's polished and clean, perfectly salted with a dose of humoristic ways.
:shock: I love your stories.

:hug: Thank you so much (:
I know that my English isn't that well but I keep trying. And learning (:

His cabaret mind, singing and jiving to a melody of murder, was fantasizing about stabbing her moist flesh; her scented and silky skin with a cold, steel serrated knife.

Am I allowed to say that this was the best one-shot on mibba?
Yes, it sure is.

I really like your writing.
It's polished and clean, perfectly salted with a dose of humoristic ways.
:shock: I love your stories.

Thank you again and thank you one more time (:

I like the quote, I mean, it'd be perfect for the story (:

Ah, I just remembered the quote on an icon my friend sent me:

"I like to murder people in sadistic ways while singing showtunes."

I think it fits the story perfectly.

XD

Psychos... Ah, brilliance.

I love the eyebrow thing. His own personal trait.. it kinda makes him more real.

He's sadistic. I like that. Sadistic people are the best to write.

I love your one-shots, they're brilliant.

XD <3

Bittersweet:

Josipa, you are such an amazing writer, this story was thrilling. And you pwn for quoting Emma Goldman.

Thank you, Ivana, or should I say "Hvala"? :D

Josipa, you are such an amazing writer, this story was thrilling. And you pwn for quoting Emma Goldman.

WHY THANK YOU SO MUCH!1

That Harvard thing really made me smile (: And it hit me, positively, like a romantic summer rain If you could only see me blush a the moment, correcting my spelling mistakes. I'm shaking so...

Once again, thank you!

Wow...This left me speechless. Okay Im giving a try at saying something.

This was the best thing I had ever read.
You have major talent. The way this story was written it all flowed.
Just amazing. From the first to last your descriptions stuck out like sharp knives. You could see them so clearly.
Very beautiful. Your a beautiful writer.
I can see you becoming an author one day or maybe an English professor at harvard....(=
And your like me, I love describing everything, even its the smallest thing and has no meaning. Your so geart at that. This is the first story I had read by you.
Trust me this will not be the last.

Bastard Son.:

I have another favorite story by you.
The description blew me away, seriously.
I just loved the way you crept into the guy's mind
and made him seem so real. The description of the sweat
and his narcissism, you built a really strong base for a character here.
I'm still in awe.

And the blunt way he 'fessed up was totally unexpected, but left a huge impression. You'd better publish something soon, or I'll beat you with a toothpick. x]

"Sticks and stones and toothpicks CAN'T break my bones" (:

You better save that one, you'll need it after eating "grandparents' presents" :lmfao If you wanted to tie me up with a floss, save it, too. Those "green leafy things" can be a pain in the neck

What a lark. What I really wanted to say was... THANK YOU so much. I'm glad you all recognized his narcissism and demented mind. That was my point. And sweat... I just like descriptions. Sometimes I feel like describing every single pebble

I have another favorite story by you.
The description blew me away, seriously.
I just loved the way you crept into the guy's mind
and made him seem so real. The description of the sweat
and his narcissism, you built a really strong base for a character here.
I'm still in awe.

And the blunt way he 'fessed up was totally unexpected, but left a huge impression. You'd better publish something soon, or I'll beat you with a toothpick. x]

That was absolutely amazing. The details were incredible and it scared the shit out of me. Amazing, you're a great writer.

Awesome! Two thumbs up! This was great!

Thank you both (: Deeply (:

Fuck Die was right!
That was so good the way you described everything so fully and it never sounded rushed (like alot of this stuff does), it was awsome the Way you described his mind state and how he prepared for it like a routine was just... fuck i dunno i already used awsome right, how about
YOU FUCKING OWN XD

I liked it a lot.

What I liked the most was how objective you were when in the head of the murderer and the style. It seems as though it's a bunch of facts bundled into a one-shot, but your cohesive sentences and brutal descriptions make me crave more.
What can I say? I LOVE psychos :mrgreen:
And yours was just fascinating.
I wish you described him more, though. But that would've maybe killed the suspense.

Kerplunk Girl:

Holy shit. :shock:
My god. THAT WAS THE BEST THING YOU HAVE EVER FUCKING WRITTEN!!!!!
I loved it to death! Seriously!
It was perfect! How you described how he killed her and how he felt!
And then the little twist at the end!

"The moon, shining from the summer sky brightened the wooden trunk; unveiling 15 carved hearts and different initials within."
That one sentence is the best description! It gave me the best image in my head!
Gah, I love this even more then your other stories! And your other stories rule. :cheese:

1008344932984293482342394829343294823948239282928928923429232923828 is how much I would vote for it.

It sounds like this could be a movie Josipa! A pretty good one too. *reads it again*

If you could only see me smile right now. So happy. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!11111

<333333

Holy shit. :shock:
My god. THAT WAS THE BEST THING YOU HAVE EVER FUCKING WRITTEN!!!!!
I loved it to death! Seriously!
It was perfect! How you described how he killed her and how he felt!
And then the little twist at the end!

"The moon, shining from the summer sky brightened the wooden trunk; unveiling 15 carved hearts and different initials within."
That one sentence is the best description! It gave me the best image in my head!
Gah, I love this even more then your other stories! And your other stories rule. :cheese:

1008344932984293482342394829343294823948239282928928923429232923828 is how much I would vote for it.

It sounds like this could be a movie Josipa! A pretty good one too. *reads it again*

Trust me, I'm the one who's blown away. I can't thank you enough for reading and commenting. And for those awesome compliments. I was smiling like an idiot while I was reading your post. And I'm still shivering. You gave me the goosebumps

And that, "copy into notepad" thing... Wow. I feel so flattered. Speechless.