This was beautiful =]
February 5th, 2009 at 04:26am
First of all, congratulations on winning.
I love how you incorporated the sentence in the story. It doesn't seem randomly thrown in at the last minute; it flows well. Your character maintains his personality the entire time, and he seems like a real person. I know it sounds a little ridiculous, but it's difficult to find characters that I don't flat-out hate by the end of a story, and it's usually because they're extremely unrealistic.
I like how you showed the contrast between the businessman and the hobo. The Wall Street guy looks like he has a lot of class but doesn't act like it, while the hobo looks disgusting but actually respects the character and his property. There was only one minor thing I noticed: on the guitar, second fret on the second string is C#, not C. :mrgreen:
I have to give your character a lot of credit for being willing to give up his guitar like that. I certainly wouldn't be able to do that. All in all, I just really like the story. The way you describe things is very three-dimensional, but not overbearing. You use more than simple sentences (<3 for you) and it reads so easily and naturally that I can't imagine anything else happening. Great job. Let me know if there's anything specific you want in the banner. I'm not great with Paint Shop, but I'll try my best.
