Secret life of an american male teenager? - Comments

thank you sensei erica

CARSON, YOUR STORY IS CUTER THAN BABY ARMADILLOS!

lmao, bad speller...

if it's not known yet...it's sam.

LMAO, ericaaaaaaa.
grasshopper...

alright, so....
this story is actually...pretty alright.
i mean, it's nowhere near the level of Kina's but you already knew that (;
um, it's good, but needs work, as erica and kina both said.
fix it.
thanks bye.

carson, i love you.
this story is so cute.

eh, your grammar bugs me.
you see, i'm a gammar nazi.
but i'll teach you, grasshopper.

:XD: i'm sure you just saw that you had a comment
and felt all good about yourself
and then saw it was from me
and went "crap....."

mkay, critique time?
you've got a good plot on your hands so far.
i'm curious to see where it goes[:

you should probably revise a bit, though.
you don't seperate your dialogue so it makes it really confusing :|
when different people are talking, just press enter after each thing they say
makes it a hell of a lot easier to read(:

also, this happened:
"shouted Nick, the friend carson was talking to before he saw Chelsea"
instead of carson, don't you mean oliver? :shock:

but yea, good story.
i'm subscribed(:

xoxo
!!kina