All an Illusion - Comments

i really love this story! it's amazing!!! update soon... please....

I really like the new chapter!! If it weren't really good I'd still be upset that you didn't update in a while :D Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee update soon!!! xx

This is the first twilight fan-fic I have ever read and I've got to saw it is amazing :D I especially like that the main charater is called Jade because that's my name too :D I really like how you describe things and how you don't bore the readers, I also like the use of third person because I think it is harder to write in third person than first and not a lot of people can do it well (me for example XD) but you did it really well and I can't wait to read more :D Update soon pleaseeeeeeeeeeee? p.s I subscribed :D xx

Please update more. I really like this story alot because it's a lot different from other twilight based stories.

I wish I had a lot to say like some of your commenters but all I can say is I still love it. People really need to comment. I wish I had some constructive critism also, but I can't see anything wrong.

New reader and I really love this story. I like the inclusion of Fred from the novella. I always wanted to know more about him. I cannot wait for the next update.

Layout: Your layout is pretty and cute; but would it not match better to use the same border color for the links? Just an opinion.

Chapter Fourteen: I can tell Fred is a vampire; and I think it's fresh how he's so thirsty that he won't hesitate to think about killing a child. That kindof keeps him realistic in a way. You explained things very well; becuase I am caught up well without reading the other chapters.

Your writing was good, but some more description and vocabulary would make it pop more. "...a very unusual thing for a Vampire to do." That didn't flow as well, it seemed you were reminding us that she was a vampire.

Fred feels very real and, he's a really solid character in my mind. He has a past, a present and hopefully a future. He is well developed. (: When he whispered to himself, I wouldn't have started with elipsis and capitalized it but otherwise it was great.

Your paragraph begining "Jade had made her way to the town hall" was brilliant. The description was exactly what I was talking about earlier; I just would like to see more of it. Jade's clever. She worked out the danger before she turned and succumbed to it; and fought. A couple of spelling/grammar mistakes overall, but great quality.

I love the trance he puts Jade under, Alec. It's all very dreamlike, until the very unelegant finish and that surprising twist! That's really shocking, you're very sneaky with that. Well done! ::thumbsup:

Okay, so I have to admit that I'm not a fan of Twilight anymore, but this was a brilliant start. I really like how it's in third person, compared to the first person Twilight. And Jade is a truly awesome character - better than Bella, even! I love how everything is so clear and concise here. In Twilight, Meyer overused the "useless details" that usually help run the story along, but it really bogged it down and made it sorta boring :| But yours is just perfect; it has a perfect balance of details and emotions and dialogue. Even though I'm not a fan anymore, I have to say that this is a much better version, with a much better heroine, and with much better characters over all. Well, I mean, you took the same characters from Twilight, but to me, it seemed that you added a few more details to make them really you're own, which is awesome :D
Lovely job, hun! <3

I'm not a real fan of vampire stories but I have to admitted this is good, cant wait for more. :)

Please Update?!?! ^..^

I agree with absolutely everything they said^^^ :]

Jade is a wonderful character, one of the best original characters I've read of.

I am not one for Edward Cullen Fan-Fictions but I enjoy reading this :]]

I have never been one for a fan fiction but because you wrote it I felt like I had to read it. You have made this story your own and out of the few ffics that I have read this was nothing like them. It was a real story with a real plot and characters that you could just fall in love with or simply hate.

Jade is a complex character and I applaud you for not making her just another Bella. The first chapter was a great way to introduce her and get the story going. I also loved the flow of it.

You have a great way of describing things where it isn't boring just interesting.

Update Now Please?!?!

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Love It! Update?!

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It's pretty neat, your story is. It definitely has a different twist that is a rarity on Mibba. Hope you update soon! (:

I really liked it.
It's different and completely not like every other Twilight story I've read.
Jade, is a perfect protagonist; I like how she thinks and how she gives herself off.
Many writers don't show how the first year of a newborn is like; they merely pass it off and don't explain how the first year of a newborn will affect the whole story.
Her attacking Charlie, shows that she's new to this kind of world and does not have the self control, that most authors automatically give to the newborn.
Great. I can't wait to read more (:

I really don't believe that I'm the first one to comment on this story -shakes head-

That's ridiculous.

This is so elegantly written - so much more mature than a hell of a lot of the writers on this site. It really was amazing to read, and am kind of annoyed that it was a one-shot - I mean, why would it be a one shot? It does give it dramatic effect, I'll give you that, but it's so good! -whines-

If this is what your writing's always like, I can't wait to read your other stories. This truly was beyond standard :cute: