This is so cute. I love the idea of child!Ryan.
January 19th, 2009 at 07:07pm
Okay, lemme start off by saying I don't read Ryden, I don't even read Panic stories, but now I think I'll start.
I love the way this story starts. Just bam, straight to the point. Sometimes, that wouldn't work. I tend to switch off after such an abrupt sentence but this time, I was interested. Immediately I asked myself 'Why does Ryan hate silence?' because 'Ryan was always thought to be the silent type.'
Straight away you know two things about his character.
And then of course, you have Brendon, the opposite.
I love the contrast between them. Automatically, it gained my interest.
Obviously, Ryan is quite dependent on Brendon. He keeps him safe from the silence.
I love the way this was written as well. The way you can make the scene seem real, I could picture it, whilst using quite simple vocabulary. That is a compliment. :XD
Seriously, I love it when people can do that, instead of relying on 'long words' all the time.
:shifty I do not make sense. I told you I was bad at this.
I loved the basis for the story as well. The fact that he's scared of the monsters.
That is so childish but at the same time, I could believe it. Why not? I actually loved Ryan's vulnerability in this. He's not a total wuss but he still wants protection. And the fact that Brendon 'protects' him from the monsters is so adorable. You can sense the closeness of their relationship through the words you've used.
I should really shut up now. :XD
I was really impressed, honey :arms:
Keep up the good work.
