I am going to speak as a critic. You are an AMAZING writer. But, you don't really give much setting, like, it took me a little bit to find out where she was half the time. And yeah you should put a little prologue or something that explains whats going on. Is it a romance between the guy and her? Its somewhat confusing. And i think you should slow it down a bit, enjoy the scenery instead of just going straight into action. Show how she feels. You know? But so far, its REALLY good.
January 26th, 2009 at 05:23am