March 11th, 2008 at 09:54pm
Serena, you should not even DOUBT your writing. You are an amazing writer. That story was wonderful, you put words together so beatifully, I wish I was at your level of writing! :cheese:
It was so easy to relate and understand the emotions from the main character. Your writing is easy to connect to, it flows perfectly. [I hope that makes since.] Like Kara said, this is one of the best things I've read in a long time.
Thank you so much. You don't have any idea how much that means to hear. Thank you. :hug: 
-finally posts-
Well this story was effing mind-blowing. I had never read your stuff before and this was just fantastic, for lack of a better word. Not saying I didn't expect it, but I hadn't thought of it. You're awesome. -huggles-
You were so repeatative. But it was perfect for this story. You mentioned running about 15 times which really emphasized the action. I almost broke a sweat while reading it. :tehe:
Your choppy syntax also added an extra kick to this story. Like, "Listen to me. Listen now." V. good.
Also, knowing you as a person really shed light on a lot of this. I knew as soon as you mentioned a man and a voice not your own, that you meantBawn-o Bono. Although, I could see how if a person didn't know you and read this could get a little confused. That's just how personal this is. I'll just list off my three favorite parts and tell you why. (Can't do more than three because I'll end up copying and pasting the entire story. Must. Limit. Myself. xD)
She doesn't have any idea what to look for in this sign. A person, perhaps? An object? A phrase? A song? Endless possibilities, endless outcomes. An undetermined amount of time is required, for patience is a virtue. A virtue of the most noble? Not really. Just a virtue.
Phew. This part shows the deperation of the girl. She's reaching out, trying to find something that isn't there or has disguised itself. She has no idea where to look because her encased life hardly lends any space or freedom to search. She's wanting and aching and yearning but she doesn't know where to start or how to to find this 'sign'. This sign or savior. This pathway to freedom, to salvation.
There was one thing she did have. Something she had that while everyone else had access to, interpreted it much differently. A voice. Not her own, one of another. Music. A powerful tool of emotion. How one song can make someone immensely happy, angry or even cry was beyond her grasp. The only fact she held, was that it was so. Taking it wherever she went, wherever she could.
Here lies the beginning of a new chapter in her life. She's found her savior in lyrics and voices. Music can take her from her misery like a magic carpet or something of the sort. It brings her relief, happiness, freedom. She runs with it hoping one day to break from her routine and finally... run away.
He only lets go when he's sure she isn't going to run again. Part of him knows she will. It's in her nature and he understands. She'll always run. She'll always fail to get anywhere. He hopes that someday, she will understand and someday, she will break free of the cycle, the habits and become her own person. But for now...
She's running to stand still.
Your ending was spectacular. Everything was brought into a full circle. Everything connected together like a puzzle. You showed the progress in the girl. First pain, then relief, then salvation, running to recovery. Gah. I sound like a crackhead therapist. Lmfao. Anyways. I really enjoyed it, Serena. And, uh, I love you.
:tehe: