The Perks Of Being A Monarch - Comments

Chapter One (I only read this as I am not really into this kind of thing...

This was good, there were several grammar/spelling/punctuation errors which ruined it for me, and there were some parts thats made it seemed rushed.

Some words are repeated a lot, and it ruins the meaning of them, if that makes sense.

You have established the characters really well, and this story really does have potential, just some tiny errors spoil that. I agree that a beta would be helpful, or even a just quick proof read by yourself will suffice.

Well done, and sorry for the crappy review. Nagging parents :grr:

This story is really sick, you know that?! XD

OH MY GOD. I JUST READ CHAPTER TWO FOR THE HECK OF IT AND I STILL HAVEN'T STOPPING LAUGHING.

thanks you.

For the Story/Review Game.

First off- you need an editor/beta for your story. It's riddled with small mistakes that spell-checking programs miss.

I'm not sure I liked the way it began, the phrasing of the letter struck me as being too talky, and a lot less like a letter.

I'm reading the second chapter, and I think you use Katherine's name too much. If there are no other female characters being introduced, try to use her name once per paragraph, unless it's necessary.

I do like your plot, and your characters interest me. I think your writing could do with a bit of work, try to find someone will beta or edit for you, or you can give your chapters a very good proofread. Keep writing, I like the story in this, it kept me reading until the last chapter. :arms:

okay, now I double want to read this!!! :D

OMGRIGHT I never comment on stories on here, but this is just too good...
It really is. :lmfao I love it.

...also it has Thomas More being just that awesome.
Gotta love that guy, seriously.

...I'd write an actual review, but I'm rubbish at them, so...