November 6th, 2009 at 07:53pm
Yeah this was actually for some english coursework I did... I got an A* :cute:
- Lestat:
- Wow, Sian this was seriously good! :cheese:
It seems a little familiar. . . did you do it for an English essay or something?
Hehe, I don't know why, but it seems so. . . unlike you. :tehe:
The last paragraph was my favourite part.
Thank you for your amazing comments :arms:
I am srsly too flaily rn to really comment, but I promise I will sometime. Properly.
There was a kind of heartfelt charm in this, hopeful and soft and sad as it is.
You have a slight, yet lovely grip on words. You really should write more often, you are so close to something gold.
I love the narration of it. Simple, yet picturesque. The metaphor of a window and how you explained it... gah. I just absolutely loved the first line and and the last line, especially. There was a continuing thought that you explained in the end, about how a window may look like something material and physical, but you clarified that sometimes the simplest objects aren't just what they seem.
I admit there was a bit of cliche lines in there and the flow isn't perfect, but as I said, something about it is just so sincere and moving and gripping that you don't really realize the flaws until you reread it. It read very smoothly, very poignantly.
I also wrote something with the same theme, kind of. That waiting for someone to come back, not really knowing if they will but hanging onto a hope anyway. Tis called Padlock: http://stories.mibba.com/read/133195/Padlock/
I guess I could relate to this, and your eloquence really astounded me. You should try writing smex too, sometime
ILY<333