The World of Man in the Hands of Children. - Comments

First thing is more of a suggestion then anything else, I suggest putting lines in-between paragraphs, it makes it easier for the reader to read it. To me the flow wasn't there for me which made it difficult to read. I have to admit that I did skip some of the story, maybe it is because I"m not that big on to the whole four paragraph explanation the way you wrote it. I only caught a few grammar and spelling mistakes but you also need to watch it for run-on sentences or cutting sentences to short. Over all I think it was a good idea but you could tell, as you said above, that it was last minute.

ohhh no I'm continueing with that story::) it was just a quick sort of last minute essey... though I'll continue with my other storyXD (the "Yin and Yang" thing)

wow. that's really good. only a few spelling errors it what i found Jonna. I thought that was really great and if you continue with that at all I would definitely read it :)