Steer. - Comments

I usually don't like those stories where Chris or Jonne dies but this one I really loved. Great job!

Meant To Review This Earlier, But My Net Died- I Beg Forgiveness :tehe:

Laid back in the passenger seat of his car, I was almost asleep when he was shaking me awake -- I loved the opening line, for the begining, making the character wake up is a really good start.
Also, the fact you used words like 'Mm' and 'erm' gave a good sense, it just flows really well and just makes it seem realistic.
And of course, that made me the spawn of Satan in their eyes. -- Dont ask me why, but I loved this line. I'm weird like that :tehe:
We thought that maybe if we got away from it all that we may be able to come back and it'd all be okay again.
A childish fantasy, yes. -- :'( Ah this line made me sad. The way you wrote it was beautiful and depressing at the same time. That's an awesome skill :O
“You need to piss or anything, because...?” -- :tehe: Again, weird moment and I went all funny when I read the word piss it just seemed so random that I cringed. But I did like it, because that's the way people talk, and once again it made your writing very realistic. :)
if he was eating in the car at night, he always had to be out of the light. -- Ah, this was cute. :D I liked this, it was personal and made me smile. Yep, I like the random things.
fallen asleep listening to Kristian's fingers drumming the steering wheel and the faint sound of his voice against the song. -- I liked this line because the description really got the setting well. I liked that through the whole thing, all the descriptions were well written and went into details, instead of just brushing over them.
They're not coming for us. They're not going to call, they're not going to send anyone to find us -- :O Yet another touching line, well written and it really helped show the sad side of the love they shared.
gesturing to the stick-shift and all it's little buddies -- This line made me smile, because after all the sad stuff and swearing and etc, it was such a sarcastic, humorous line I had to smile. :D
“Nice ass.”
“Fuck off.”
“I'd rather fuck you,” -- boysecks :tehe: need I say more? :D
The whole ending after that, I just loved. The impulsive idea of it, the way they just decided to do it while they were there, and they were calm about it, was really sweet. Also, how he thought they only had each other made it kind of bittersweet, and the suicide was just written perfectly.
Also, how you used foreign words for 'angel' and 'darling' was good, only it confused me at first, then I read the bottom and was like 'oooooh' now I get it. x3 might have been better if you'd mentioned it before though.

Anyway, loved this one-shot, seriously, good job!

That was simply gorgeous. I loved how they drove off the cliff at the end, it seemed so perfect.

I mean, just, wow. I don't even know what to say to express how much I liked this story. That had to be one of the most amazing oneshots, ever.

If I had the words to tell you how good this was, I'd give them to you on a silver platter. Whatever contest you won, you obviously deserve it. The real quality about it, not the haze of fiction, makes this such a good story. I use 'good' because it is good. All those other words are over-used and obnoxious. You are a good writer and a good story-teller. I am now going to go and read all of your things. ^_^

Fuck.

That was amazing.

Mercy said it all.....

:cheese: Okay, I know this took forever, I'm epic amounts of sorry.
I'll try to give you as good a review as I can. I just judged my rape contest and I think they're going to be ansty over there too. Anyway.

:hand: Yew be a mazin' writer, first off. The dialogue you use is very realistic and I love reading it, actually. Jonne and Kristian (:think: I love that name for a guy, for some reason. One of the Cinema Bizarre boys is named that as well. I think that's a new favorite.) seem to really love each other but I love how it's not a totally sickening mushy-gushy lovey-dovey sort of romance. It's honest and realistic. Well, realistic in the sense that most couples aren't all cutesy and blech (minus my best friend, her and her boyfriend make me shudder and cringe daily). Oh, and I love how in this one and your other story I read for the rape contest you have them use "Mm?" as a response in dialogue. I say that myself sometimes and I like the way it looks. Don't ask me why, I'm a very strange person.

Guh, I love the way you write. Something about it so natural and the descriptions and such are just wonderful. It's like a real place and a real life and if it wasn't fanfiction it would be published in reality, I think. The way this one is set in first person is nice; not a lot of the other entries were. I don't write a lot of first person myself, I usually end up starting in first and somehow falling into third. :tehe: Big issue with me. I always have to go back and change it. Or I fuck up my tenses too. :file: I have a bunch of exceptions to this rule too though. So nyah.

:think: I like Kristian's issue about eating at night in the dark. It's very strange but still quite interesting. But after that, the songs on the "K + J Mix" is rather cute, sweet but not too blechy. I smiled a little, knowing that this song was his song for me. He always put it on if I'd been away and he was missing me, or vice versa. Nom.

:lmfao I must admit, I have never in my life seen a pink cigarette, but I would love to. And the dialogue, the almost-argument they're having. I love it. It's still really realistic and such. And then the final realization. It's really nice.

BOYSECKS? :tehe: He wants. But he no can haz? :file: Again, I like his little issues about things. Like how he can't prepare the drugs on his own. Or rather, up. Up our noses and into our heads and oh fuck. :lmfao That made me giggle for some odd reason but again I strangely like it. Quite a lot. I think it's because the 'oh fuck' at the end is sorta something I would do. Go figure.

OH YEAH, BOYSECKS TIEM.

:tehe: Moving on, now.

:yah The ending. I love a good suicide, I really do. I love the pact at the end. It's just perfect, really. Although me trying to envision the kiss at the end is a little awkward. :think: Awkward body positions.

:cute: Fantabulous.

This is so amazingly romantic and honest, but with just the right amount of complete and total broken-ness. I like your usage of another language in it, though I'm not sure if that's a recurring thing in stories of yours, or if this is FF or whatever, but I like it anyway.
You totally deserve first place; this was wonderful.

Also, I think it's funny that we both used Don't Fear The Reaper in our stories for this contest, although I'd only just read your story now. :tehe:

This is utterly amazing. You are awesome. You deserved the first place =]

Oh wow.
Fucking amazing job on this!

:O

This is absolutely amazing. It seemed very real and impulsive, which is just how people are. I don't have time to do a full review now but I will later, cause this story just deserves it.

Great job!