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Green Irises - Comments

  • florence

    florence (1000)

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    Wow, dude, this was amazing.

    That is all I have to say.
    September 1st, 2010 at 05:34pm
  • Georgia Fair

    Georgia Fair (105)

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    Wow this really is amazing. I love it.

    You definietly should win the contest ;D
    May 9th, 2009 at 05:55am
  • Glamophonic

    Glamophonic (100)

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    I don't know what to say that hasn't been said already.
    The beauty of this really is breathtaking.
    May 7th, 2009 at 03:29am
  • netherbones

    netherbones (100)

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    I think I found this through a contest or whatnot...
    But anyways, absolutely gorgeous.
    I've never seen one run-on sentence written so
    wonderfully and so smoothly, before. And I am
    a definite fan of the run-ons and other strange
    sentence compositions.
    I can't think of anything that needs changed.
    <3
    May 6th, 2009 at 05:35am
  • amelie

    amelie (200)

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    I found this in her signature. ^

    Beautifully written. I had to read over it a few times and I still had a difficult time figuring what the plot was about so when I read the comment above me I felt like I was cheating on a test and was actually quite thankful for doing so... :tehe:

    This was... Beyond amazing. In Love
    March 22nd, 2009 at 06:54am
  • lovecraft

    lovecraft (100)

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    It wasn't until the second time I read through this that I realised what it was about.

    Your attention to details and description is incredible, and for something so short, you told a story.

    What I took from it was an older, disabled person watching their grandchild running through a garden (I loved the description of the garden as well, velvety is a perfect adjective.) and falling. The older person can't do anything as this child they love dies... it's incredible.

    "Lips almost devoured by a manic smile" I love this line. I describes the carefree and energetic nature of a child running around in a garden.

    "an alerting emotion swallowing my chest" This describes panic, perfectly. Especially helpless panic. I can imagine this person suddenly clutching their chest and wishing for the breath to yell for help. It creates a million images in my head.

    One and only thing I noticed that was remotely bad: "suddenly illumined by a shocking crimson" You misspelled illuminated. :tehe:

    It was amazing, such a story told for a short piece.
    March 22nd, 2009 at 12:02am
  • Oscar Wilde

    Oscar Wilde (250)

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    This was definitely the one that deserved to win. :tehe:
    Your use of adjectives and description was like... :cheese: wow.
    March 21st, 2009 at 08:54am
  • college dropout

    college dropout (255)

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    short, to the point, and I loved it.
    Hope you win :D
    March 11th, 2009 at 01:44am
  • summer girl.

    summer girl. (100)

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    I saw this on the boards and decided to check it out.

    This is utterly brilliant, and the fluidity of it is amazing.
    Well done:]
    February 25th, 2009 at 07:18pm
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