Break the Ice - Comments

It's over:(

i sooooo loved this story and i still am not sure that luke sent that text and i loved that sidney and jordan fought schenn but the cutest part was when brayden showed up told luke to go to the locker room overall i loved this story to death!!!!!! IT WAS SO AWESOME!! :p <3

I can't believe it's over either!
A bit thanks too all of you for all the support, comments, help, characters and such through out the whole thing.
<3

xD omg!!! i luv kitty!!!! cant wait for next season/series!!!! lydia and tk r like perfect for eachother!!!!! and poor u being alone on new years :( u know i wuda been there to tackle u too but i was most likely a lil bit busy with my own new years celebration ;P XD

Aw..it's over. :( I loved the story though!! :)

That was an awesome chapter! It's sad that this story is coming to an end!

omgomgomg!!!!!! im bak!!!!!!! im so exited!!!XD kit is finally reveled!!!!!! yay!!!!!XD im scared to see the rest of the teams reaction :-# i cant ait for the next chptr!!!!!! new years rite?

You're such a good writer.
Every chapter you make, makes me wna tmore.
And now must give me more!

Oh drama. Is she narcoleptic? ;) I'd be mortified to fall asleep in the hallway. Haha on Luke getting shut down by his brother. I approve. :)
And I agree with yetti that it shows you enjoy this story/ writing- especially around the Christmas/pranks chapters!

Hi there! I'm a little late to this game(/story), but I've finally caught up and since you've asked for comments, here are mine.
- I like reading this story. You have a fun sense of humor and the way the story flows at some points suggests, to me, that you've really enjoyed writing those parts (which makes it even more fun to read). Plus, I am a huge hockey fan, so the peripheral hockey theme certainly doesn't hurt.
- As far as constructive criticism goes, I would say that you might pay more attention to the details. I mean this both in regards to discontinuities, and to way that some details can enhance your story.
The discontinuities are usually little discontinuities, but as an admittedly neurotic reader, I'm bothered, and they distract me. In this chapter, for example, Luke walks up behind Nicole, wraps his arms around her waist, and kisses her on the forehead (from behind?). Then she backs away from him- but when did she turn to face him? I had to reread this part a few times because I missed the drama and gravity of what was happening while I was trying to figure out exactly how it was happening. I would usually scold myself for being so anal and just move on- but I'm pointing this particular part out because I think there is a great opportunity to add depth to their exchange.
(This is where the opportunity to enhance your writing comes in.) Initially, Nicole avoids acknowledging Luke by squeezing her eyes shut- but then (I assume) she ends up facing him- was she forced to, or did she do so on her own power? Indicating one or the other would elaborate either (or perhaps both) on the state of her relationship with Luke, or on her own character.)
I think you could do a lot with subtleties in this story. I, personally, would love to see you further explore Nicole and Sidney's relationship. While we sort of know how Nicole feels (she's dating other guys, after all), we've been left to wonder if it's just friendship or something "more" for Sidney. You could do all sorts of things with little context clues. Now, I don't mean to imply there needs to be something romantic between them, in fact, this applies even more if their relationship is meant to be strictly friendship. You could give the readers a much stronger feel for how great of friends they are by utilizing some little details here and there. This way, you can give them, as characters, and their relationship (whatever it may be), much more depth, and without having to explicitly spell it out.
I'm not sure how clear all of that was, but, obviously, feel free to let me know what you think. I know you've said you're nearly finished with the story, and I'm really interested to see where you take it.

WE LUV U BRAYDEN!!!!!!!!!!! no matter who u r related to.........i luved tat chptr!!!!!!!!! im xited for the next one!!!!! it better include me and my krisy!!!!! :D and yes for all those reading this KRIS LETANG IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luke is such a major pain...anyways that was a well-written chapter!

Hahaha, I chuckled a bit reading about the fight scenes. That made me happy for some mysterious reason (hmmm). Anyway, I'm really glad you've posted more! I really enjoy this story and I am (or rather was, before I checked my email and ended up reading your new chapter) bored at work and *needing* something good to read! (It's either that or study for a test, and 'Breaking the Ice'>>studying).

Oh Luke!
I can't wait for more!

OMG I FEEL LOVED!
I`ve never been mentioned in the author`s note before.
Thatnk you thank you thankyou.
Now you better write the next chapter soon...... or else.

start writing the next one!!!!!!!!! tats all i can say!!!! START WRITING THE NEXT CHPTR TO BTI!!!!!!!

I'm very glad to see another chapter! I'm sorry, I'm not entirely sure what they mean by 'meaningful' comments, but I hope it's meaningful enough that I enjoy your story and was very excited for a new chapter.

I loved the update! It was funny!

yay u!!!!! finally an update!!!! i think we shud go with kits or kitty, just cuz they r both cute and both wud annoy the hell outof me........so ya...xited for the next chptr!!!! yay u!!!

Loving this story.
I almost broke my ankle running to the computer to read it.
No seriously I saw that I got an e-mail and almost broke my ankle running.