Fall. - Comments

First I have to tell you that I really liked the username that you chose, for you created one of my favorite types of pieces. To me, suicide stories are always incredibly interesting, and you did not disappoint. I am so glad and awed by the you picked the sea to be his place of rest, instead of a side of a building or something. Not only is it different, but you just depicted it so well.

The mist from sea and the moisture on his face and the sadness in his heart just, gosh, it sends a tingle down your spine. The reoccurring word of jump is a nice touch and it obviously backs up the username. Another thing that I noticed is that you didn’t spend too much time trying to describe his entire situation, or break everything down so in one minute we know everything about him. You left blanks, but that somehow made every more suspenseful and enjoyable.

I feel like I am not being fair, my last comment was much longer, but I’m just not sure what else to say. I just have this utter silence inside me at the end of this. There are no cute little bits or a light in the tunnel it just ends, so abruptly, but perfectly. This story gives makes me loose my breath a bit, not to mention my words.

The last lines, I think struck me hardest, because for me they ere very true. In my experience when you are on that edge you begin to feel as if this what you were destined to do, and you said it so beautifully. Honestly, I’m so choked up right now its getting a little hard to type.

You have successfully conveyed the thoughts of someone on the edge, and have taken my breath away. This is an entry that stood in my head for a long while, and I am being sincere. The emotion you have injected into this is remarkable. Congratulations.
:arms:

It was like watching a film.
XpeaceX

I thought it was quite interesting, just all the jump's('s) xD, and the fall at the end. I liked it a lot.

Good job. :]
<3 Good luck on the contest!

Oh man, I love it. Gosh, it's so cute and yet so... harsh at the same time. I love the repitition of the word 'jump' because it's like he's psyching himself up for the 'fall'. Aren't you one highly talented writer, eh?

:tehe:
: )
xo

i was actually searching for a drug frerard, but then i stumbled over this and i actually like it. a lot.

how you played with the 'jump's in between and the end was great:

"Jump!
I had to jump.
Fall."

'jump' - first he needs to do it himself then the 'fall' - we don't know if he really did it, but at least we know he is falling. inside or real.
sorry, this review sucks, but i tried... cause your story is great

COMMENT VIRGINITY! :crazy:
I know I beta-ed this story, but I have something to say now... It's about the title. You surprised me. The title is not only the last word in the story, which is always a good thing to do in my opinion, but it is the immediate consequence of the username you chose. It fits just perfectly.

May I say something about the layout? :tehe:
Well, it is good, lol. I just don't like the color of the links... They're impossible to see :lmfao
But it looks gorgeous... as if it fell in the middle of the layout, just like this character fell. You're amazing
:arms:

EDIT: Can I call this page, Frank? It's just that all pages have a claim name, except for the first ones. It's understandable, but the story (and the day) deserve it :XD
And just look how adorable my new Message Board Avatar looks...