March 15th, 2009 at 01:34pm
This was adorable. Seriously.
I couldn't help but laugh at the bit where Daisuke was saying that Kyo's face looked like a "slapped arse". :lmfao It seriously made my day.
Die’s mouth fell open in mock offence and he forcefully flung himself at Kyo, his thin frame twitching with laughter.
That was my favourite part.
So adorable.
Also, I don't know why, but "twitching" - to me any way - gives off this vibe that, Kyo is trying to sort of...not laugh? Like he's trying to keep it in and as if he feels bad for laughing.
It could be just me but still.
I loved it, though. :cute: :arms:
Very well written, no mistakes - like "x...oceanblue....x" said :XD - and gah. I just loved it.
I really liked this. Very much so. You've written Die and Kyo incredibly well, you've got really great characterisation and this is very evident in this story. You've got a great talent when it comes to writing! :cute:
The opening, where Kyo calls him Daisuke, immediately makes the reader think something is wrong between the pair of them, because it's mentioned that nobody calls him Daisuke - apart from his mother - except when they're pissed off at him or upset. It really makes me feel sorry for Kyo, because there's something wrong and he seems to be really upset, especially from the tone that he says it in.
Kyo scares me a little, the fact that he sits with his shoulders slumped and the fact he'd been like that for a while. He seems kind of lost and upset, and I think that this scares Die a little too, because all he wants is for Kyo to be happy. Like, how he "knew Kyo better than the others" and how they could laugh and joke together. It gives the impression that they have a very deep and meaningful friendship.
Weakness was Kyo’s enemy. And yet… here he was, falling apart at the seams before his eyes. This shows that Kyo has changed. He's more upset than Die first envisioned, and the fact that they sit in silence signifies that something is wrong, because they seem to always be quite content in one another's company, happily speaking to each other.
I really like Die in this, especially. Well, if nothing is wrong, then you have no reason to walk around with a face like a slapped arse. He seems like quite an optimist, in comparison to Kyo's pessimism. They seem like quite opposite people but they still get on really well.
And how Die offered a hug to Kyo. That was really sweet. :tehe: And Kyo lies to him, saying he doesn't want one. But he gets one anyway, and it was so sweet!
I loved this, it was a really interesting read. :arms:
One thing though, I think the font could have done with being a little bit bigger. It was slightly too small for me to read. :think: